


Poet's Corner

by Onlymostydead



Series: Poet's Corner [1]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Disordered Eating, F/F, M/M, Sexual Abuse, Trans Link, gender non conforming Revali, lots of poetry, mentions of bullying, the scary warnings are only implied/referenced
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-06-11 17:12:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 36
Words: 35,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15320283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onlymostydead/pseuds/Onlymostydead
Summary: Based on the novel, "Every Last Word" by Tamara Ireland Stone.Revali Medoh Gale has the perfect life: archery champion, hot boyfriends, a pack of good friends, looks- you name it... So why is he eating lunch in the theater?





	1. Curiosity Drove Him

The theater was as good a place to hide during lunch as any, Revali decided, a grim expression on his face. Only two weeks into school and he was already doing this? Honestly, he thought it would take a lot longer.

Revali Medoh Gale didn't hide during lunch- he didn't even eat alone. He was always surrounded by his amazing friends who all looked perfect and did everything-

Deep breaths. Don't get angry.

So he pushed open the door, fully expecting the wonderful silence and darkness of the theater. Instead he was hit by the cackling laugher of theater kids. Instinctively, he rolled his eyes. Looks like he would have to find somewhere-

"Are you here to audition?"

Crap. The girl who had spoken- pretty, if average, white, with untamed brows and middle parted blonde hair- was clearly coming towards him.

"Just watching- I'll see if I'm interested." Revali answered quickly, twisting his mouth into a sweet smile.

She knew he wasn't interested just by virtue of who he was. Of course there had to be auditions today- just his luck. Getting caught in the red velvet seats would be a death trap- everyone would notice as soon as he left. Instead he stood against the wall, slinging off his backpack so he could lean-

Something round and cold pressed into his back- a doorknob. Probably a janitor closet or something else equally gross.

Perfect.

Glancing around the room, Revali waited until no one was watching him. His heart-rate was certainly up; what would someone say if they saw Revali Gale in a janitor closet?  
No one was watching, now was the time. As quickly as he could Revali snatched up the backpack, twisted the knob, and pulled the door shut behind him. The room was dark, but immediately Revali could tell one thing.

This was not a janitor closet.

As his eyes adjusted, Revali could make out that there was a staircase leading downward, and a single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. He reached up and pulled the string, casting a dim, flickering light over the tiny room.  
Three brooms and a mop were leaned against the wall to his left, and nothing to his right. It would be the perfect place to eat- if it was a little less dusty. Then there was the staircase.

There was something wrong about it, though Revali couldn't put his finger on what. At the same time, all he wanted to do was go down there, to see what it lead to.  
Revali glanced back at the door behind him, thinking about the theater kids all auditioning in there. With that, he plunged ahead; down the stairs.

What could go wrong? His mouth curved into a thin line.

The stairs creaked as if they hadn't been stepped on in a long time, but there were clear wear-marks in the black paint, so it was obvious that a lot of people came down here at one point.  
That was even more worrisome, but Revali kept on. The staircase wasn't a long one, and turned it in a small, entirely black room not dissimilar to the one he had come in through. There was a door labeled 'Prop Room' forward, another mop on the left, and...

To the right there was another door, the hinges and doorknob painted the same flat black as everything else had been.

"That's odd..." He whispered to himself, reaching for the knob.

He knew he shouldn't, that he probably wasn't supposed to be down here. Revali checked his phone- he still had a lot of time before the end of lunch, but what if someone caught him...

Reaching forward, he grabbed the knob and pulled the door open. Another staircase led down, no lightbulb hanging above this one. Carefully, Revali stepped down the dark steps until he reached the bottom. There was another door; just the same, painted surface as the other one.

"Well, too late to turn back now," Revsli muttered to himself, turning the knob.

A light was on in this room, and a jolt of panic spread through Revali's body. A quick sweep of the room revealed no one visible, but still...

He stepped forward.

This room was clearly different from the others. Dead ahead there was a stage- a single stool sat up there with no microphone or music stand. Couches and chairs of all types formed a semi-circle around the stage; a grey plaid couch next to a wooden rocking chair, a red plastic kids chair next to a giant white sofa covered in paint splatters, and more. A mismatch of lamps and end tables carried the theme.  
But that was nothing compared to the walls.

Revali was reminded immediately of a third grade craft project he had to do- decoupage, his teacher had called it. The walls were covered in different colors and sizes of paper, some peeling up, some glued firmly in place. He spotted receipts, clothing tags, graph paper, detention slips, pages from textbooks- everything you could ever write on was there. 

Why?

Curiosity drove him closer to the walls, until he could make out the writing on a piece of college ruled notebook paper. It was a poem. A short one, seemingly about sitting in the grass on a summer day. Revali found himself smiling at that. It wasn't often that he read poetry for fun, and by not often he meant never.  
There were more poems, he could see that now. Every scrap and piece of paper had a poem; long ones, short ones, limericks, haikus, epics-

Who writes these?

His lunch forgotten, Revali searched the walls for poetry. Each one seemed more amazing than the last until he couldn't hold back his smiles and laughs, barely blinking back tears. A great many of them were sad and dark, speaking to something in Revali that he wouldn't admit.

Don't get angry. Don't think about it. Just let yourself feel.

Overwhelmed by it all, Revali sat down on the floor. He could have sat on one of the many chairs, but he liked how the door was in sight this way. From there he grabbed his backpack, and reached inside for his notebook and a pen.  
Words seemed to flow easily here, inspired by all of the poetry he had read over the past twenty minutes. In no time at all he had a poem written, but-

In frustration Revali ripped the page out. It wasn't perfect- it couldn't be quite perfect enough. Shoving the paper into his backpack, he started again.  
Over and over he did this, until the bell rang and he packed up his things, disappointed but inspired. Poetry had never even been an interest of his- so why now? It's weird, and his friends would hate it.

Friends. Crap. Guess that's just another secret to keep.

Revali threw on his backpack and rushed up the steps as quickly as he could, practically running on his way to fifth hour. His friends already knew that he was 'doing vocal practice' during lunch, but they didn't need to see him leave the theater. 

Safely back in the hallway, he moderated his pace to a fast walk. It would be fine- none of them saw him, none of them know. But still... Revali knew that he wanted to go back to that room, to write more in the future.

Hopefully, whoever used it wouldn't mind; and wouldn't be there.

Don't feel anymore- keep that hidden.

Do t get angry. Don't be angry.


	2. Through the Window

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I don't have a regular update schedule for this yet- so I guess we'll see how it ends up? I'm on vacation for the next two and a half weeks, so... Updates will be sporadic.  
> (But if you're looking for something to read, might I suggest 'See You Never!'?)

"So, what's been going with you this week?" Teba asked as he always did, casually leaning back in his rolling chair.

Revali picked at his nail polish, looking anywhere but at him. Not that Teba was intimidating; he had been his councilor for almost two years now. Still, he couldn't bear to look at him.  
Teba's office had changed a lot since he first started coming here. At first it has been in a smaller room, painted in blue pastels with sparse furniture. Now, since the beginning of last summer, his room was larger, and painted that awful off-white color that doctors offices love. A window overseeing the city sat on one side, though the shades were almost always down when Revali was in for a session.

Jump. Right through the window- the ground isn't too far down. That's why they keep the shades like that: to stop you. Prove them wrong.

Sucking in a deep breath, Revali turned back toward Teba.

"Fine, I guess." He lied, folding his arms and sinking in his chair. 

Unlike Teba's, his chair was a plastic one with rounded metal legs. Just lightweight enough that, if he wanted to, he couldn't cause much damage with it.

"That's not convincing." Teba said.

Revali huffed, turning his head away once more. That was what made his parents settle on Teba eventually: he was honest. Therapists or councilor a who tried to twist words never got far, which made Teba perfect. Of course, it was also very inconvenient at times... like now.

"It's been okay," Revali restated, trying to make it sound as good as possible. "Things are... Alright with my friends, and I've been sleeping better."

Teba jotted down a note. "Revali."

"What?"

He sighed. "Revali, you've been staring at my window nonstop since you came in." 

Shit. Now he was thinking about the window itself, but it was fine because it was covered- he couldn't see that it actually was a window even. But still, it was obviously a window. And a window meant glass, and beyond the glass it meant air. And the air had nothing to support it below, only the ground- and that was down, down, down. Four story drop. Dead on impact.

"I have been?" Revali laughed, forcing his attention back to Teba. "Didn't notice."

Teba frowned, and write down something else. He was a stern faced man with thick, dark brows that contrasted his shock of white hair. His skin was darker than Revali's, closer to that of his mother. He would guess that he was Indian, like them, but wasn't sure. Today he wore a white button down with a blue grid pattern, and a grey cardigan.

"Revali, will you tell me the truth?" 

That was his favorite tactic- 'Will you tell me the truth?' The best thing about the question is that he knew Teba would accept 'No' as an answer.

"Yes," he groaned, straightening his posture. "Ghira's just been bothering me a little bit- my arms got really big after archery camp, and... He doesn't think that's cute."

Teba waved his hand for Revali to continue.

"And I stopped eating with them at lunch again." He admitted.

Teba wrote something down. "Where have you been sitting then? Make any new friends?"

Revali's thoughts flashed back to Monday- yesterday, and the room he found down there. He hadn't gone back down today; the theater wasn't occupied.

"No." Revali scoffed. "And I... In the theater."

"Are you still-"

Revali interrupted. "Yes, I still duck when people come in so they don't see me."

"You know that people aren't likely to notice, let alone recognize you." Teba reminded, still calm and flat.

That response let out a bit of his air, and Revali sank down into his chair. "I know, but if someone does notice, they will recognize me. And if they recognize me they'll mention that they saw me eating lunch alone in the theater like a loser, then Gan will find out, and you know what he would do if he found out something like that."

"Revali, does pleasing Gan make you happy?" Teba asked, and Revali got the sense that me knew the answer already.

The truth was... The truth barely mattered, because there's always truth in a string of events that makes something else correct. He hated being around Gan and the others- Cia especially, but at the same time, there were benefits. Without his friends he would be nobody, for one. Their group had a certain notoriety to it that really had its perks. Last year they basically had their pick of whatever or whoever they wanted in the school, and this year wasn't shaping up to be much different.  
So, in that sense, Revali loved his friends. Zant always had access to concerts and shows- courtesy of either his dad, his sister, or theft. Ghirahim and Cia were practically the richest people to ever walk through the doors of the school, and Gan... Being around him guaranteed security. No one messes with Ganondorf.

And no one leaves the group. You can't, not until you die.

Vaati did, think of him.

The window's right there, after all-

"Yes." Revali blurted out, trying to return his mind to the question. "It does, because if I didn't please Gan I would be very unhappy, and I'm happy now, aren't I?"

"Revali." Teba said in that still-calm voice they made him want to scream.

"Look- I can't leave. Remember what happened to Vaati?" He snapped, crossing his arms.

Vaati, Vaati who had been a part of the group as long as any of them- since middle school. It wasn't his fault he wanted to be in the school play, but at the same time... It was. And as he had less and less time for his friends, suddenly they had less and less patience for him.  
Revali shivered. Some of what they did to him; the glares in the halls, boycotting the play, stealing his clothes and hiding them after gym? It was all so unnecessarily cruel, but you could bet Revali and Zant were more in line than ever. No one wanted to turn out like Vaati. He transferred schools last year, away from all of this mess.

"Yes, I do." Teba crossed his legs. "But you need to think about yourself."

Revali scoffed. "I am thinking about myself."

"Okay." Teba sighed. "Then let's find another focus, alright?"

"Alright." He relaxed into his chair, letting some of the tension go from his shoulders. "What do you suggest?"

"Revali, when are you the happiest?" Teba asked, scribbling down another note on his paper. 

"Archery season- you know that." Revali answered in a split second, not a bit of hesitation in his voice.

"Then focus on archery." Teba uncrossed his legs. "Find pictures, exercises, find somewhere to practice- anything you can."

Revali raised his eyebrows. "I'm guessing that's my homework this week?"

Teba nodded slightly. "It doesn't have a deadline- just keep that in mind. Whatever makes you feel so good about archery, try to focus on that."

"I'll tell you what doesn't feel good about it," he muttered. "Having giant arms."

"Is that you or Ghirahim talking?" Teba asked.

Revali took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. "Ghirahim. They make me feel... Powerful."

Teba hurriedly wrote that down. "Powerful. I want you to focus on that word- what makes you feel powerful?"

The window. The window. Take matters into your own hands.

Revali opened and closed his mouth twice, but couldn't think of anything else to say.

"You don't have to answer now- just keep that in mind over the week, yeah?" Teba set down his notepad and stood up slowly.

Revali followed suit. "Yeah."

"Be powerful this week."

Revali chuckled at that, but there was no heart in it.

As if.

The window stared at him like a giant mouth, begging to swallow him whole.


	3. As he Left

"I'd guess you're skipping on us again?" Ghirahim assumed with a yawn, stretching his arms over his head as he walked.

"You know I need the practice." Revali said, rolling his eyes. "I've got that solo coming up in choir, remember?"

That solo that he practiced exclusively at home, which drove his sister crazy- but at least he had an excuse. 

"Ah well, your loss." Ghirahim clicked his tongue. "If you're just hiding how much you eat than don't bother- we know."

Revali suppressed a growl. 

"Not my fault you don't eat anymore, Ghira." He said, sure to make his voice sickly sweet. "Is it worth it?"

Ghirahim replied with a cold stare, making Revali well aware that he had crossed a line.

Revali shrugged. "What?" 

Ghirahim rolled his eyes, speeding up on his way to the cafeteria. As soon as he was out of view, Revali relaxed a bit.

"Wow, that was a bit much- even for you." Zant's voice chimed.

Revali hated it when he did that.

"What? Why the long face?" He continued, still smiling. "Ghira's going to be mad for a while, but he'll get over it, don't worry."

"Yeah, yeah." Revali mumbled, just wanting to get Zant to go away.

"He wasn't wrong though, you have been putting on a little weight." 

Revali rolled his eyes again. "Oh shut up- I'm doing fine. I didn't even eat lunch on Monday."

"Okay, okay- have fun with your singing." Zant waved, and was finally gone.

Grumbling to himself, Revali adjusted the straps of his backpack and moved on. He walked the right way to the orchestra practice rooms at first, then made a sharp turn towards the theater. There wasn't supposed to be anyone in there again today, which meant that he would have the whole room all to himself.

Go back to that room. The one with the poetry.

Revali shook his head, but couldn't quite shake the idea. No one should be down there, right? It would be pretty simple to head down. Plus, after that he wasn't really in the mood to eat anymore. Maybe writing some poetry was just what he needed.

Pushing open the theater door, Revali inhaled the dusty, air inside. It was calming after having used it as a lunchroom for so long. At the same time though, his heart raced as he proceeded to the door.   
It was unlocked again, and he turned on the lights on his way down to the room of poetry. The stairs still creaked un invitingly, but Revali didn't care about the noise.

All of the doors were still unlocked, and it was only a little while before he was outside the door. Grabbing the knob once more, he turned it and stepped inside.   
Everything was just the same as he had left it- lights and lamps on, crazy tables and chairs, incredible walls. The air seemed cooler and crisper this far down, especially after hurrying down those stairs.

Revali's stomach growled, but he ignored it.

Wait- what was that? Revali hadn't gone up into the stage when he was there before, but there certainly hadn't been a piece of paper on the stool. Slowly, he crept over the the stage and picked up the paper.

"Perfection - Revali Medoh Gale." He read aloud, and his blood ran cold.

He had forgotten a poem, one of the awful ones he had written before- and someone read it. That meant someone came down here, which meant that someone could come down at any second.

Breathe. Just breathe.

"No one is now  
And no one can be  
We don't know how  
We all just long to be free

"But none of us are  
And no one can be  
It's just too far  
A goal that we cannot see-

Perfection."

Someone read it. Someone read his awful poetry, and it had his name on it! Who could find out? Who already knew? Was it a student, a janitor? Revali had no idea, but that didn't stop the churning of his head and stomach.  
What if his friends found out? What if Gan found out?

Writing poetry for fun was ten times worse than being in a play, how badly would they treat him? 

Don't get angry.

Okay, none of this panicking was helping. What could he do to fix this?   
First step was obviously taking the poem, and hoping no one took a picture. Second... Making sure no one saw him down here. Ever. Which meant that he couldn't come back. That wasn't too hard, except...

Revali found himself surprised by how much he wanted to stay. Regardless, it was impossible. He had to go.

So Revali picked up the note, crumpled it, and crammed it into his backpack. After that he turned around and left it just as it had been- nothing disturbed in any way other than the lack of a certain poem on the stool. 

Who saw it? Revali squeezed his eyes shut, and forced himself up the stairs.


	4. A Fake One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think (don't quote me) updates will be Monday Wednesday and Friday?

"You're Revali, right?" 

Revali froze, trapped between his locker and this mountain of a man.

He was cute, honestly. Long, dyed red hair with dark roots growing in, strong eyebrows over his mono-lidded amber eyes, straight nose, full lips. A massive scar stretched across the left side of his face, reaching from his temples to his jawline; but it didn't mar his good looks. The guy had to be well over six feet tall- towering over Revali even in his heels.

"Yes, why?" He answered slowly, trying to look nonchalant.

Inside, his heart pounded. Being trapped like this was terrifying, it reminded him of-

"There's something I need to talk to you about, may I have your number?" He held out his phone.

"Sure, what was your name again?" Revali asked, taking the phone and putting in his number.

He wasn't sure why he put in the real number, but he did. Maybe it was because he was scared, maybe because of how he asked- he had no idea.

"Sidon, like Poseidon but without the 'po.'" Sidon answered with a smile. "Thank you!"

"Don't mention it." Revali said, but Sidon was already long gone.

"What was that about?" Gan's voice startled Revali so badly he almost tripped.

There he was- standing tall and huge as he always did, his deeply tanned skin making Ghirahim next to him look like a vampire.

"Some kid." He recollected himself. "Wanted to talk to me, asked for my number- gave him a fake one, of course."

Gan nodded. "Of course."

Ghirahim rolled his eyes. "Sidon- freshman, I think he's on the swim team. Cute, but... A complete idiot."

Revali nodded along. "Tell me about it. Let's go- don't want to be late for class."

***

(Unknown Number): Is this Revali?

(Unknown Number): This is Sidon

Revali had only checked his phone for a second before heading to the theater, but there were the texts.

(Revali): yes this is Revali 

(Sidon): Awesome!

(Sidon): Link heard you say it was a fake number, so no one thought I would actually reach you!

Revali frowned.

(Revali): you said you needed to talk?

(Sidon): oh yes!

(Sidon): If you wrote that poem, meet me in the theater during lunch. This hour. Now.

That wasn't ominous or anything, and now Revali's pulse was skyrocketing. Clearly this was about the poem, the room, and Sidon was one of the people who went down there. Within all reason he shouldn't have gone, he should have found a new lunch spot, and yet-

(Revali): I'm on my way

He tucked his phone back into his pocket without a second thought and continued on to the theater. Palms sweaty, heart pounding, he kept going.

This is a mistake.

Someone will see you.

It's okay- if someone sees me, I have a backup plan.

A backup plan? Suicide is not a backup plan!

With a deep breath Revali pushed open the theater door and walked inside, trying to look more confident than he felt. Inside were a few people- none he recognized immediately, other than Sidon. No, there was the blonde girl- the one who asked if he was auditioning for the play. As if.

"Wow, he actually showed up." A guy who was sitting on the floor said in a deep, rumbling voice.

Revali thought he had seen him around, but couldn't be certain. He reminded him of Teba a bit, but mostly just his full head of white hair, with a matching beard. He was heavyset with strong arms and legs- he looked like he could destroy the competition in shot put or football. His eyes were squinted in a smile, nose wide, and lips full. If he had to guess, Revali would say he was Polynesian. He wore a slouchy brown tank top and cargo shorts, with a blue book bag slung over his shoulder.

"I told you he would- he wrote that poem, after all." Sidon argued.

He wondered if he ever stopped smiling.

"Alright-" Revali shrugged off his backpack, holding by the straps. "Will someone tell me what's going on here?"

The blonde girl smiled. "How about we show you?"

He froze, then nodded.

You idiot- should have turned back. You should have walked away. 

But something about that room felt like it called him back; he hasn't been that close to crying since-


	5. Just How Welcome

"Of course, you've already been down here-" the blonde girl continued. "Wait, where's Link?"

White hair shrugged. "I don't know."

Blonde Girl checked the door, the one that led to the poetry room. Locked.

"The one time he remembers to lock it is the time he's late." Blonde Girl huffed. "Anyway, I'm Zelda."

She waved. Revali smiled back, but it was fairly forced.

"Daruk," White Hair said.

"You already know me." Sidon smiled and waved.

"Oh!" A girl Revali hadn't noticed at first shut her book. "I'm Mipha."

She was very cute- short, dressed in a simple yet elegant blouse and skirt combination. Her white blouse contrasted very nicely with her dark skin. She wore minimal makeup, but her eyes were a bright amber behind her red framed glasses. Her long braids, dyed red, were pulled into a low ponytail and boasted various silver clips and pins.

Revali smiled at her as well. "I'm Revali."

"Well yeah," a short guy who just walked in from the other entrance signed. "Everyone knows who he is."

Daruk choked back a laugh at that.

Pretend you don't understand- you'll know just how welcome you really are.

"What'd you say?" Revali asked, and the blonde guy rolled his eyes.

"He's Link." Zelda clarified. "Like sausage."

"He knows my name, Zel." Link signed quickly. "At least, he should by now."

"Like sausage, like a chain, like an added thing on the Internet, it's all pronounced and spelled the same." Zelda said towards Link.

No one needed to translate Link's middle finger. Zelda laughed.

"We caught you in a bad mood, didn't we?" Daruk chuckled.

Link huffed. "Well he's here, isn't he? What'd you expect?"

"Come on- you do have the key with you, right?" Daruk pulled himself up to his feet.

"Yes," Link signed, then fumbled with a cord around his neck. 

On the cord was a single brass colored key, which went into the lock and turned first try. Everyone followed Link down into the room, down the staircases.

This is a bad idea. 

Revali's heart pounded in his chest, begging him to just leave; but he couldn't back out now. He followed the others down the staircase.

"Welcome-" Daruk announced once Link threw open the final door. "To Poet's Corner."

The room looked exactly like it did the other two times Revali had been here, but it seemed totally different now that it held people. The colors seemed more vibrant now, the poetry more alive.  
Revali felt nauseous.

You shouldn't be here.

Don't get angry. Don't be angry.

"So- quick rules." Daruk started, moving over to sit in a worn out blue armchair. "You don't have to read this time, but you do have to read after that. The first poem you read has to be written here- old tradition. No criticizing anyone's poetry-"

Link interrupted. "That'll be hard."

"-especially your own." Daruk continued, unfazed. "Is that it?"

Link shook his head. "You know."

Daruk nodded. "And you can't tell anyone about this place, about what we do. Alright?"

That one'll be easy.

"Alright." Revali gave a solid nod. "Wait- you wrote all of this?"

Daruk nodded slowly, scratching his beard. "A lot of us over the years. Sit down- everyone else will be here in a minute."

More people did file in, but Revali didn't pay very much attention to them. His eyes were glued on Link.

He was white, chubby, and short- very short, couldn't even be five feet tall. His blonde hair covered most of his face, bangs hanging in his eyes and long pieces that didn't quite make it into his low ponytail. His clothes were frumpy and loose fitting; a blue hoodie and dark wash jeans. Beyond that, he barely even seemed to be there.

"Who wants to go first?" Daruk asked, and Zelda got up from her seat next to Mipha.

"I wrote this in church, after the service." She announced, opening a small turquoise colored journal. "Half."

She took a deep breath, then began.

"I am split in half, my bones do part  
The half of law, the half of art  
Passion's colors, movements sway  
Thrown aside from devotions way.

"Fire, desire, ire for the bore  
Preaching- my passions want more  
All red hair and gold eyes they see  
All real and whole and wholly me

"Flesh my flesh and bone my bone  
I call this devout faith my own  
Myself, selfish- my life, lifeless  
For this sacrifice I am knife-less 

"And a body I do not possess  
This vessel passes not the test  
It it not mine, my own  
My flesh and bone  
Drawn tight across a line.

"Where do I start and end?  
These halves split- ne'er to mend  
My ghost escapes and stares  
At my empty body- half there."

Zelda exhaled, smiled, and caught a glue stick thrown her way by a small girl who also boasted bright red hair.

What was with all the bottle redheads?

Carefully she ripped out the page of the notebook and covered the backside with glue.

"Seriously?" Daruk said, then started to clap.

It's amazing how, once one person starts, everyone starts clapping. Revali even found himself joining in. Inside, his gut was turning, thoughts racing a thousand miles an hour.

How do I stay here with my lack of poetry, my lack of knowledge? How do I get up and read like she did?

Link caught his eye from across the room, and smirked.

A fire set in his bones at that- reminding him that there's nothing Revali Medoh Gale can't do or have. He would succeed at this, wiping that smirk off-

Don't get angry. Don't be angry.

Deep breaths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just like I posted on my Tumblr, Supertinywords, this should update every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday- though I can't make any definite promises <3


	6. Knock Him Down

Tuesday came around faster than Revali was ready for, but each class before lunch felt like it stretched longer and longer. He hadn't been back to the room since last Thursday, he hadn't wanted to go back. He couldn't go back.

You can't. Just never show up.

But Link's face kept flashing through his head; those smug blue eyes, and that self-assured smirk. Revali couldn't let him get away with that, he had to prove him wrong.  
So here he was in fourth hour English class, staring at a poem he had written on Monday. All weekend he had looked through his backpack, pulling out each of the crumpled up poems to determine which one would be the best.

He had to read today. If he didn't, he'd fail. 

Revali Medoh Gale doesn't fail.

The poem itself was decent, if short and a bit... Personal. Not as bad as others, and he felt that it was vague enough. It would be possible to interpret it multiple ways.

Unlike others.

Reading it over one more time, Revali tried to flatten out the paper. It wouldn't stick to the wall very well if it was this crooked and and crumpled, after all.

You're just doing that because you're nervous. You know who it's about, they could know, they might know-

They don't know, Revali reminded himself, clenching his fists.

Don't get angry. Don't get angry.

That's when the bell rang, and he realized that he had zoned out for nearly the entirety of English. Teba would want to know about that later, and he'd probably say that it meant something much worse than it really did.  
He always did that. Plus- there want even a window in here. It had nothing to do with that.

At least, he hoped it didn't.

***

Link was already waiting at the door when Revali got to the theater. He didn't seem to notice him, though; he was too focused on the tall girl standing across from him.

Why was she here?

Urbosa Nabooris, six foot three, star of the basketball team. Her long, red hair had been straightened and pulled back into a high ponytail, sweeping down her back. From this angle her face wasn't visible, but he could bet her makeup was exquisitely done, always with a bold colored lip. She wore a teal crop top and black high waisted slacks, with heels so high even Ghira would consider them a walking hazard.

She was perfect, and Gan hated her guts. They were cousins, after all- and there was nothing like sibling rivalry. If he knew that he was hanging out with her? Revali's position as Gan's friend would be forfeit.

"Oh, look who showed up." Link signed, pointing at Revali with his chin.

Urbosa glanced over her shoulder. 

Well, it was too late to turn back now.

She smiled. "What's your name?"

Revali took a deep breath. "Revali, and you?"

"Urbosa."

"You know who he is, Boss- why'd you ask?" Link signed.

"To knock him down a peg." Urbosa signed back.

Told you pretending to not understand would be beneficial. You wouldn't have figured that out without it.

Don't get angry.

"Still waiting for everyone else?" Revali asked, trying to pull the conversation to the audible kind. 

Urbosa nodded. "Yeah- they'll be here in a minute."

And they went right back into talking in sign. It wasn't a big deal, and Revali decided not to 'eavesdrop' this time. He needed to focus on his poem, not how much they hated him.  
Who cares about the poem, why was he here? Revali Medoh Gale didn't write poetry, he didn't enjoy it even. So why did he-

Link unlocked the door, and Revali realized that he hadn't noticed as everyone else had filed into the theater. Once was bad- but twice in one day? He had to tell Teba after school, this was getting ridiculous.

It's just the stress- it'll be fine.

Revali took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and followed a short, red haired girl down the stairs. It seemed like it took ages for all of them to get down, the stairs creaking and groaning, and Link's keys jangling especially loudly. 

You could turn away. You could leave-

But that would admit failure. And Revali Medoh Gale doesn't fail.

The last door was open, and everyone moved to their places. Revali sat on what looked like a barstool with a leather seat, his legs dangling. Anxiously, he played with the piece of paper tucked into his pants pocket.

"I'll go first- if that's okay?" Daruk asked, cracking his neck as he stood up.

No one argued so he made his way to the stage.

You should have gone first, that was a mistake-

"I wrote this last night, on my roof." Daruk announced, taking an index card out of his shirt pocket. "Breeze."

"His spirit rests here  
No more than other places  
But I like the breeze."

Urbosa was the first one to clap, and a glue stick followed soon after. In what feel like seconds Daruk had gotten off the stage, put his index card on the wall, and sat back down.

Now or never.

Revali stood up. "I might as well go next."

No one argued. Link winked.

Revali scowled at that, but stepped onto the stage. His legs felt like lead.

Confidence. Find confidence.

"Just do what you came to do- you'll be fine." A voice- his uncle- seemed to say in his head.

Revali felt like he was going to vomit, but he sat down. "I wrote this during lunch on Monday, here in this room."

He cleared his throat. "Perfection."

"Nothing is close its all too far  
Everyone's wishing on dying stars  
We're all dying with them  
All our dreams are gone

"We're all just wasting time here  
Gripping those things we hold dear  
We hold them too tightly  
They all fall apart

"Now I'm strangled- my death  
You've robbed me of my breath  
By trying not to lose me  
You've killed me instead."

Silence. No clapping, only the sound of Revali's own heartbeat.

Then, a hurricane. A flood of glue sticks, and Revali grabbed one in the chaos. Coating the backside of the paper, he found a place on the wall and stuck it firmly in place. 

"Who votes that 'Vali stays?" Daruk rumbled, and hands raised all across the room.

Even Link raised his hand. Their eyes met in cold, hard contact.

Who's knocking who down now? Revali thought, but kept that to himself. With the applause roaring in his ears he just wanted to savor this moment. The poem was pasted up to the wall, and he went back to his seat.

Link seemed to scoff.

Revali Medoh Gale doesn't fail, after all, why should anyone expect him to start now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, scream at me on my tumblr, supertinywords! Let me know what you think <3


	7. To Leave This

"So, what's been going with you this week?" Teba clicked his pen, leaning back in his chair.

Revali shrugged. "Not much. I've been zoning out on occasion, but nothing serious."

Teba nodded. "Do you know how much time you lost?"

"Well..." Revali thought over the English class and the theater. "No more than twenty minutes."

"Alright- that's not too bad. Did you feel the episodes coming on, like you used to?" He wrote something down.

"Not much. I was just... Lost in thought, more like." Revali shrugged again. "I only noticed once I was startled back."

"Do you know why?"

"Mild stress." He answered quickly. "Nothing too important. Just a test I have coming up. It's not like I'm losing days anymore."

Teba nodded slowly. "Revali?"

"Yeah?"

He clicked his pen twice. "Are you telling me the truth?"

The window's right there- four stories down. That's not too much, you could fly if you jumped. Well, not really- but you'd be free, like a bird. Don't you want that?

Don't you want to leave this place? 

Jump. 

Revali turned his head again, forward to where Teba should have been across the desk. Instead it was his uncle- why was he here? No, he was in his uncle's study.

This room, unlike Teba's office, hasn't changed since Revali was twelve years old. The door was still across from where he sat now, all dark brown wood to match the floor, trim, desk, and bookshelves. Stretching from floor to ceiling, the bookshelves really were the most imposing part of the room- but the desk stood out to Revali the most. The same little trinkets and heavy paperweights sat on it, the same drawings he had done over the years.

"Revali." His uncle said, leaning forward as if to touch his arm.

"Revali!" Teba's voice was louder than normal, shaking Revali out of his thoughts.

"What? Is something..." The window, then the memory of his uncles study came back. "Wrong. How long was I out?"

Teba sighed, settling back into his chair. "Not too long- a couple of minutes, maybe. Do you remember what it was about?"

"The window." Revali lied, but only partially. "I was thinking about flying again."

Teba nodded, writing that down. "Revali, have you been taking your meds?"

"Yes." Revali lied.

"You would tell me if you weren't, right?" 

Revali rolled his eyes. "Yes, I would."

"Alright." Teba nodded, leaning backwards. "Let's change the topic. How are your friends?"

Revali groaned. "Not bad really? But Ghira's been getting after my weight again."

"Mm, and how are you-"

"I'm fine." Revali interrupted, crossing his arms. "Well, okay, I haven't been eating lunch. But that's only lunch, and only some days. I just don't feel hungry."

Teba rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Have you been eating breakfast?"

Shit. Teba already knew that he didn't eat breakfast.

"Yes." He lied, but could tell Teba wouldn't buy it. "Okay, I haven't been. But I'm still eating dinner."

Teba wrote something down, then circled it. "You remember our agreement, right?"

Revali rolled his eyes. "If it gets too much worse, you tell my mom. I know, okay?"

He nodded. "Alright- just making sure. What do you have to look forward to this week?"

Poetry, Revali thought to himself, but he couldn't say that.

"Next weekend I start going to my uncles house again." Revali said with a shrug, trying to remember what all he had told Teba. "I'll be helping him around the house every other weekend over the school year again."

"That'll be good, I remember your mom saying that was a good thing for you to be doing." Teba said, but his frown didn't match his words.

Revali shrugged. "It's alright."

"Well, try to focus on good things. Speaking of which-" Teba set down his notepad. "How did being powerful this week go?"

"Completely forgot." Revali said, getting up out of his chair.

"Try to focus on it again this week, alright?" Teba got up as well. "See you next week then."

"See you next week."

Revali walked out the door, into the hallway and out to the waiting room, internally kicking himself the whole way. How had he zoned out like that, and why did it take him there? Usually it was the other way around, but not today apparently.

"How'd it go?" His mom's voice took him out of his thoughts.

Revali yawned. "Good- I'm just tired."

"You can't be tired yet, it's only four." Mom argued, but she was smiling. "I'll be a minute checking out, go wait in the car."

Shrugging, Revali did as he was told. Why it would take longer than normal he couldn't guess, but sticking around would be more suspicious than just going to that car. With another yawn, he pressed the elevator button to go down.

Why was he so tired? Maybe it was the stress of poets corner, the adrenaline rush wearing off. Still, he had no idea.

The elevator dinged and opened, revealing three other people inside.

There was an elderly white woman wearing a magenta coat with matching lipstick. An elderly white man Revali guessed to be her husband, who wore a fleece vest and a trucker hat; and Link.

Just his luck- how would he explain that he was here to Link? It was just a pediatric center, he could easily just say that he was here for a doctors appointment, but-  
If Link didn't ask, he'd have no reason to explain. Revali wordlessly got onto the elevator, pressed the P2 button, and leaned against the wall. Link was staring, but he didn't try to say anything.

Of course he didn't- Link didn't know that he understood sign. Even if he wanted too, he'd have no way of asking. Revali smirked a little bit as the elevator went down, down, down-

Four floors. It's dropping down four floors and it could drop further, further, all the way to P1. That's quite the distance- but stuck in the elevator you couldn't fly.

The elevator dinged- P3. The elderly couple left, then Link hesitantly followed. Revali pressed the button for the door to close.

We're still pretty high up. If it were to fall-

He jammed the button again, trying to keep his breathing level.

Just get to the car, just get to the car-

The elevator dinged again; P2. The doors took forever to open, as if they could sense what a hurry Revali was in. Still attempting deep breaths, he hurried out the door, into the parking garage, and searched for the family's suburban.  
It wasn't in sight. Where was it, where-

There it was, parked at the far end of the garage from here. Paying no attention to the cars Revali raced across the parking garage, focused only on his mom's car. All he had to do was get there and climb into the front seat. He was fine, fine, fine.  
The door was unlocked, and Revali climbed inside. The moment he did it felt like he could breathe- he would be okay.

There, at his feet, was his backpack- the spiraled notebook he had torn the poetry out of stuck out of the top. In a moments decision he grabbed it and a pen, and with shaky hands, started to write.


	8. Rinse and Repeat

Revali's legs still shook as he went up to the stage, though not as bad as last time. This time he hadn't made the mistake of letting someone else read first; he was ready as soon as Daruk asked.

He took in a deep breath. "I wrote this in my mom's car on Tuesday."

"Rinse and repeat."

"I can't remember  
I tell them again  
They ask me when  
They ask me how, why  
I can't remember  
Rinse and repeat.

"I see the window  
It's calling out  
Three stories of doubt  
I want to jump now  
I see the window  
It isn't there  
Rinse and repeat.

"I'm not crazy  
I tell the doctor  
The scoffer  
Anyone who'll listen  
I'm not crazy  
But I see the window  
Rinse and repeat."

Stupid. Why did you read that? Before it was vague, impersonal, but this? You look crazy. You look like you're falling apart-

A glue stick his Revali square in the chest, falling into his lap. They were clapping... How long had they been clapping? Revali didn't know, but pretended nothing had happened as he pasted this poem next to the other one. Slowly, he stalked back to his seat.

Link gave a strange look, but said nothing.

The black girl with the red hair, Mipha, stood up next. Silently, she moved to the stage, stepping up to the platform easily.

"I wrote this last night, in my room." She said in a soft voice, glancing over at Zelda.

Zelda have her a thumbs up.

She began to read in a more confident tone, but still quiet. Something about her words felt whispered- just like she had said they were written late at night.

"I would give you the world, if it was mine to give.  
Instead I give you mine.

"I would give you the stars if you asked, if only they were mine to lay upon your head.  
As a crown they would adorn you.  
All I have to give is me, my all, my devotion.

"Every day I chase after you, though you are mine, I fear for the worst.  
That I am no longer enough.  
But every night we hold each other and I know you do the same.

"My sun, the light of my life!

"I fear the day you burn out."

Blushing furiously, Zelda was the first to clap. Everyone else followed suit, until a glue stick was recieved and Mipha stuck what looked like a piece of a pizza box to the wall.  
Revali blinked hard. It was so obvious that those two were a couple- how had he not noticed before? That was odd, to say the least, but still- 

You missing things? Isn't odd. You do it all the time, and it's about to get worse with-

"Are you okay?" A girl asked, waving her hand in front of Revali's face.

He absently recognized her as the girl he had followed down last time, but he hadn't noticed then what a resemblance she bore to Urbosa. They had the same hair color for one, though this girl's had a lighter streak woven through her messy braid. Her complexion was the same, and similar makeup enhanced her features.   
They certainly did not look the same, however. This girl had freckles across her nose, and her face had a soft childishness that she hadn't yet outgrown. If Revali had to guess, he would say they were sisters or cousins.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Revali lied, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. "What was your name?"

"Makeela Nabooris... but my friends call me Riju." She answered with a sweet smile, crinkling a folded piece of paper in her fingers.

Revali frowned. "Does that mean I call you Riju?" 

"If you want to." She shrugged. "What was your name again?"

"Revali." 

"Revali. Awesome." She grinned, then stood up. "Time for one more? It's a short one."

Daruk smiled. "Always."

"Whew. Okay. I'm still nervous up here-" Riju glanced around at the room as she sat down, unfolding her paper. "But I wrote this during lunch yesterday... It's not titled."

"I can make it  
I'll do well, get by  
But the weight is still on me  
Holding me down.

"If they really knew  
Would they like me?  
The closet is still too heavy  
I can't let it go."

The only sound for a moment was Riju, inhaling deeply through her nose. "I know it's not very..." She stopped, holding up her hands. "Please don't throw things at me."

Daruk laughed, and tossed her a glue stick. The whole thing was almost getting normal to watch, to Revali's surprise. Sneaking down here? Was becoming routine, against all odds.

Maybe this could be normal.

As if.

***

"Gosh, Vali, I've been looking everywhere for you." Ghirahim complained, leaning heavily on the locker next to his. "It's like you're disappearing on us."

"As if," Revali scoffed. "I've just been a little busy- choir, archery, you guys know the drill."

Zant rolled his eyes. "You're always so busy though, it never lets up! Isn't archery season in the spring?"

"Wow, that was a topic switch." Ghirahim commented, not bothering to look up from his nails.

Gan chuckled softly.

"I know, I know-" Zant crossed his arms. "Hey- at least I'm not zoning out?"

Revali rolled his eyes. "Oh, haha- so funny. I've got a lot on my mind."

"Like a sport that isn't in season for another... Until the end of the year, basically." Zant shrugged. "We get it."

"I'm not the best in the state because I don't practice." Revali swung his locker shut. 

"Ooh, look out- he's the best in the state." Zant waved his hands dramatically, and was quickly elbowed by Ghirahim.

"Come on- we'll be late for seventh hour." He complained as he unattached himself from the locker only to reattach himself to Gan's arm.

How Gan put up with that was behind Revali's understanding, but he followed, silently seething.

Don't be angry.


	9. A Drastic Understatement

With an exaggerated sigh, no one was there to hear him, Revali shut his notebook. He knew he had been up too late, but he didn't even feel the hour. Writing poetry, he could stay up for days.  
But, tomorrow was a school day, and he had to sleep sometime. Flopping down on his bed, Revali closed his eyes.

Immediately, he was hit with the realization that he'd be back at his uncle's house for the whole weekend, starting after school tomorrow.

Shit. There was no way he could sleep. With a shaky hand Revali grabbed his phone, wincing at the brightness of it. 

6 unread texts- all from the group chat:

(Gan): There's a party tomorrow night that I'm going to, anyone else?

(Ghira): ooh which one?

(Gan): The one at Nekk's

(Gan): His parents are out of town, and I've heard rumors about a keg

(Ghira): say no more I'll be there

(Zant): Really? Nekk's?

Revali's lips pulled into a grim smile at Zant's text, but even that couldn't make him feel better. 

(Revali): After what Nekk did? Really?

(Ghira): it was one time, k? And it was just with me

Scowling, Revali resisted the urge to just turn off his phone.

(Revali): Still- he's a dick.

(Ghira): a dick who's going to have a keg at his party

(Ghira): and making out with someone else hardly counts as cheating

(Revali): I can't make it anyway, I have to help out my uncle.

With that, Revali shut off his phone, shit his eyes, and was promptly met by the beginnings of a poem. Growling, he got up, flicked on the lamp, and grabbing his notebook.

It was going to be a late night.

His phone lit up again, this time with a message on the screen.

(Ghira): whatever- it wasn't really cheating anyway

***

School on Friday passed in an exhausted blur of three redbulls and one caffeine pill. In hindsight staying up all night wasn't smart; but there was no way he could have fallen asleep.

On the good side was how much poetry he wrote. That notebook was filling up quickly between his English notes and Poet's Corner, he'd need a new one before the end of the quarter, for sure.  
The bad side tended to outweigh that, though. His notes were messy, and the balance between falling asleep and buzzing from caffeine was a delicate one. Plus, there was only so much his makeup could do for dark circles. His uncle would notice for sure.

Which is why Revali currently sat in the front seat of his mom's suburban, dabbing at his concealer. He would ask questions if he looked too tired, and Revali didn't want to worry him.

"You have everything you need for the weekend, right?" His mom asked for what felt like the sixth time, glancing over at him.

"Yeah." Revali didn't look over, instead searching his face for imperfection. "I know what I need, mom- I've been doing this since seventh grade."

"You remembered gardening gloves?"

"Yes." Revali lied, putting up the mirror. "I have everything- it'll be fine."

She sighed. "Alright, we're almost there, then." 

Revali picked at the edge of his skirt for the rest of the drive, trying to get the hem to lay flat. Ironing it was the least of his concerns at the moment- but it was something to focus on.

"We're here!" Mom announced, pulling up into the gravel driveway. "Say hello to Uncle Ray for me, will you?"

"Sure thing." Revali lied, hopping out of the car.

The house was as foreboding as ever, tall and sturdily built, surrounded by ornamental evergreen trees and the expansive garden. It was exactly what you would expect from someone who was a successful doctor who retired six years ago to teach college classes. Nice secluded place, but with plenty of other rich white neighbors to play golf with. Saying that Uncle Ray was rich would be a drastic understatement.

Mom rolled down the window. "Don't forget your bags!"

"I won't, I won't." Revali reassured, going around to the back of the car.

He hefted the suitcase out of the back with little trouble, pulling it by the handle despite the fact that the wheels were useless in the gravel.

"Love you!"

"Love you too," Revali called back, making his way up to the doors.

He rung the doorbell, and waited.

***

Monday morning was worse hell than Friday had been. Revali wasn't as tired, per se- but it still felt...

It was always disorienting when he lost long periods of time like that. The whole weekend was a blur; Revali could only remember bits and pieces. Doing laundry, washing the floor, and sitting in the chair across from his uncles desk. The whole thing just felt a little surreal.

Of course, the fact that time had passed was indisputable- it was most certainly Monday morning. Revali found himself counting the bells until lunch time, just trying to get through until lunch.

Oddly enough, he didn't feel the need to escape to the theater. Maybe eating with his friends would be good today. Plus- tomorrow he had Poet's Corner, and a lot of poetry he had written to choose from. He didn't have to read, he knew that, but...

Revali shocked himself with how much he wanted to read his poetry. Even though he had to lie and cover up and hide everything, writing like that and sharing it with the other poets? It felt... Honest.

Honesty from a compulsive liar, Revali thought to himself. That's not something you think about every day.

Just make sure they don't know.

The bell rang, releasing the class to lunch. Revali quickly found Ghirahim, and walked in stride with him. They were similar heights so it wasn't hard- but Ghira said nothing.

That was bad. That was very bad.

Electing to skip food altogether, Revali kept up with Ghira and sat down at the same table. Gan was already there, casually peeling an orange. Zant was nowhere to be seen.

"So, how was the party?" Revali asked idly, not meeting anyone's eyes.

Ghira scoffed, then sniffled. "Awful- it was terrible. I'm sure it was a better time at your uncle's house than it was there."

As if.

Gan frowned. "Nekk is still an asshole, Ghirahim's still getting over it."

Ghira said nothing to his defense, only looking upward and blinked. 

"You sound terrible." Gan said.

Revali blinked. "What?" 

"You sound awful, Vali." He clarified. "Sore throat?" 

"Oh, yeah." Revali yawned. "My uncle was sick- I caught it from him. That's why I'm not practicing my solo."

"Figured." Ghira shrugged, reaching over to steal an orange slice from Gan.

Gan did nothing.

"So what happened?" Revali asked, hoping that Ghira was alright enough to not burst into tears.

"I'll tell you over the group chat." Ghira said, turning back to Gan.

"Tell him what?" Zant slid into a seat. "Sorry I'm late, Biology went a little long. We had our lab today."

Ghirahim's nose wrinkled. "Please tell me it wasn't the frog dissecting one."

"No, it wasn't." Zant started. "It was actually-"

"Good." Gan cut him off, cracking his neck. "So how was..."

Revali knew he could have been listening, but he was already zoned out. Only when the bell rang to he come back to reality.

"You know, it's really creepy when you do that." Ghira said, shaking Revali's arm. "You should like, see a doctor or something."

I do, Revali thought- but he would never say that; having a therapist was social suicide as far as they were concerned. "What is?"

"When you space out." Ghira answered, face squished in disgust as if he was a dissected frog. "Creepy."

"I know, I know." He ran a hand through his hair. "Just wake me up next time okay?"

"Yeah... Okay." And with that Ghira was gone, reattached to Gan's arm once more.

Don't get angry.

Revali wanted to be disgusted by how much of a couple they were, but he found it surprising that he just felt... Empty. He almost wanted someone with him like that, someone to hold him. A thought of bright blue eyes and blonde hair crossed his mind, but he thought nothing of it.

Sighing, he moved on.


	10. Don't Remember Me

Zelda smiled as she stepped onto the stage, a blush on her face.

"So, a bit of a story wth this one- I asked Link to pick a number at random to determine what I would read. And... It chose this one." She shrugged. "I couldn't back down from a bet, so..."

She cleared her throughly. "This is untitled, and I wrote it on my roof, early Sunday morning."

"My lover, the sweetness  
Of a fruit.  
Her body bids me to her  
Saturday night.  
I cut her open and lick her seeds  
Her taste on my tongue.  
Sunday morning, break of dawn  
Hallelujah,   
Hail Mary,  
Amen."

Mipha blushed and his her face in her hands, but Revali could tell she was smiling. Daruk clapped loudly, both eyebrows raised high.

"I applaud your courage!" He shouted, trying to keep from laughing.

Zelda smiled, her face bright red by now, and curtsied innocently. With ease she caught a glue stick and stuck a sticky note onto the wall.

No one else moved forward, so Revali hopped up onto the stage.

"I wrote this Thursday night, in my room."

"Once more turns."

"A bird in a cage  
Staring at the sky  
Longing to be take wing  
Longs to once more sing

"The cage door  
Opens every morn'  
By day the air is open  
By day his spirit is unbroken

"But every night  
He comes back  
Though he is free- he returns  
Until the morning once more turns."

Mipha was the first to clap, followed by Riju until everyone joined in. Revali picked up a glue stick that fell on the floor near him, and stuck the poem to the wall by the others.

"You okay?" Riju asked, and Revali lied a quick 'fine' to get out of it.

Link took a deep breath, then rose from his seat on a little plastic kids chair.

"Zelda?" He signed, and she nodded. 

He handed her a piece of paper- a receipt from the looks of it. She took the receipt, unfolded it, and stepped onto the stage. Revali could see how her lips ghosted over the words as she read.

"Link wrote this a few nights ago, in the band room." Zelda translated as Link signed to her.

"Terror." She announced out loud, slightly deepening her tone of voice.

"Your terror walks trough moonlight  
Mind through hallways  
Your terror shrieks and howls  
Mine smiles and waves  
Your terror rips you to pieces  
Mine says only my name."

Something in Revali's soul stirred at that- it was the only way to describe the feeling in his chest. He was the first to clap, to toss a glue stick not at Zelda, but at Link. 

Link met his eyes, and it was like everything went silent. It wasn't the cold air of before, or even the challenging stares; he looked... Confused. Almost hurt.

Why was that look familiar?

Eyes quickly darting away, Link went and pasted the receipt to the wall. He returned to his seat on the little plastic chair in a heartbeat.

Revali's phone buzzed, a instinctively he slid it out of his pocket.

(Unknown Number): You don't remember me, do you?

Panic flooded through Revali's system. What did that mean? Who was this? Why...   
Acting on a hunch, Revali looked up and made eye contact with Link. Careful not to draw too much attention, he shook his phone. His Link nodded back.

(Revali): Remember you from what?

Link is typing...

Revali tapped his fingers against his thigh. No one was reading at the moment- though Daruk was trying to convince Urbosa to. His phone buzzed.

(Link): Middle school.

(Link): The poem?

Revali frowned. He didn't remember any poems from middle school, but Link could have meant the poem that he just read... 

Was he-?

(Link): My name is Link.

His blood ran dead cold. How could he have forgotten? The same blonde hair, just shorter now and cut with bangs. The same round face, round figure. Still as short as always, and still wearing the same beat-up yellow sneakers.

(Link): Don't bring it up, you'll just make things weirder.

Revali nodded subconsciously. Out of the comer of his eye he saw Link slide his phone into his pocket; after sending one last message. 

(Link): Don't expect us to be friends.

With that Revali put his phone away, and sank into the couch. Urbosa seemed to be giving in to Daruk's demands, and got up to read.

"Not exactly the most uplifting, but it's where I am right now." She explained, sitting down on the stool. "The storm."

"The storm surrounds in waves  
Crushing me in  
Breaking my body  
Tearing me down  
The storm surrounds in waves  
Coming and going  
Ebbing and flowing   
But no one sees it."

Daruk clapped and howled, clearly just making a big deal to embarrass her. If Urbosa wasn't a known lesbian, he would say they were a couple. Revali clapped along with him, wishing that he could do something to sound more sincere.

Don't- you can't risk it. 

She'll think you're lying.

So Revali stayed silent, sank into the couch, and wished he could disappear. Link looked everywhere but at him.

Don't get angry. Don't.

He could bite his own tongue out if never to speak again.


	11. I'm Sorry Then

"You're telling me that everything this week has been completely fine? Nothing wrong?" Teba asked in disbelief, scribbling something down on his notepad.

Revali nodded. "It really was pretty good- Wednesday was mediocre, Thursday was pretty good, though I didn't sleep well. School on Friday was okay, and the weekend was just helping my uncle clean his house, mostly."

"Mm." Teba wrote down something else. "And how are things with your friends?"

"Okay." Revali shrugged. "They went to a party at my ex's house Friday night, and Ghira's been so upset about that he hasn't as the energy to be mad at Zant or I- plus, Cia's on that college touring trip... And Gan doesn't usually start shit."

Teba nodded. "Do you know why Ghira's upset?"

"Oh, Nekk puked on him." Revali said. "Everyone thought he was the one who puked, so they were really grossed out. He had to go home early."

"The same Nekk you dated last year?" Teba asked.

"Yeah- Ghira and him have been an on and off thing basically since then... With Ghira and Gan still doing their thing, of course." Revali clarified. "I'm not upset about that anymore."

"And that's the only thing that happened this whole week?" Teba frowned, writing something down. "That's pretty good."

Revali nodded. "And I sat with Gan and the others on Monday during lunch instead of hiding in the theater."

Teba nodded. "That is really good. How did helping your uncle go?"

"It was easy." Revali lied. "Same old stuff as before- weeding the garden, shaking out rugs, washing the sheets- all the stuff that he doesn't get around to often enough because of work."

"How are you two getting along?" Teba kept writing something down. "I remember there being some tension between you last spring." 

Revali shook his head. "Nothing like that- everything's been great."

"And you haven't been zoning out?"

"No." Revali answered quickly.

"Revali," Teba sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Will you tell me the truth?"

Hesitating a moment, Revali finally gave in. "Only a little bit- no more than ten minutes at a time."

"Okay." Teba nodded once. "Try to keep track of that, alright? It's important we keep monitoring it to make sure the meds are doing their job."

"Sure thing," Revali answered, staring out the closed window.

***

Staring at the screen of his phone, Revali resisted the urge to throw it across the room. It was late, definitely time to go to bed, but his mind was still restless. The conversation with Link was still running through his mind, and it wouldn't leave him alone.

Don't get angry. Don't get angry.

But he already was angry- there was no stopping it now. That was years ago, middle school, but that didn't change what he did. Him, Cia, and Zant mostly. Link was an easy target, everyone would admit that- but it wasn't until he came out that it really became effortless.  
Calling his name was the easiest part- his deadname, that was. Revali was the most fond of just pretending that they were friends, but casually referring to him as a girl. It was easier than blatant insults, and it probably hurt worse.   
Blatant insults mixed with advice were always Cia's thing, after all. And Zant... He just thrived off the lack of attention. Cia couldn't make fun of him for being 'too feminine to be trans' while she was teasing Link.

Revali growled, slamming his phone down on his bed.

You can ignore him- Link is easy to ignore. That's one of the things about him; he blends in with a room.

Whose fault is that?

But Revali knew he couldn't and that was what was so... Maddening, because the way Link's blue eyes flashed in the lamplight of Poet's Corner had been undeniable. He couldn't just ignore him, that would be worse.  
With a sigh of resignation, he picked up his phone once more.

(Revali): If I apologized, would you believe me?

Making an effort to not look at the previous message, Revali stared at the three dots that appeared on the screen.  
Hey, at least he's getting an answer.

(Link): Should I?

Shit. That was a hard one- Revali bit his lip.

(Revali): What I did wasn't alright, and I regret it and I want to make thinks right, if I can.

(Link): Can you sound any more like a robot?

(Revali): I'm sorry then

(Revali): if you want us to just keep ignoring each other that's fine- but I wanted to let you know

Link is typing...

Nothing. Revali waited and waited, but no response came. He guessed that meant they were back to ignoring each other, which wasn't surprising. Link had transferred schools for fucks sake; probably because of their endless teasing.

Bullying. Call it what it was.

After wrestling with those thoughts for nearly fifteen minutes, Revali turned off his phone. He couldn't keep waiting for a text message that would never come.  
In the dark like this it was worse, thoughts only raced faster and faster in Revali's head. For a moment he wondered if he should be taking the anti-anxiety meds, but quickly turned down that idea. They didn't work when he was taking them anyway, plus; they made him feel dizzy, and that made the zoning out worse.

Ding!

In a second Revali's phone was back in this hands, a message having appeared on the screen.

(Link): I forgive you, but that doesn't mean we're friends

Revali swallowed. He shouldn't.

(Revali): Got it.

He shut off his phone for the last time that night, shut his eyes, and tried to sleep.

Don't stay angry. Don't be angry.


	12. And Still Hide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is one-third of the way through this story, y'all! And with what's probably my favorite poem, too <3

Revali couldn't remember Wednesday, but he wouldn't admit it. He couldn't admit it, after all. It was Thursday morning now, and the most important thing was reviewing his notes so he knew what was going on in his classes.

What's that?

In the margins of his English notebook, crammed in spidery cursive, was four lines of a poem. Messily written, but not bad.

And vague, Revali thought to himself with a grim smile. No one could figure anything out from that. He hadn't planned on reading anything today, but now?  
Revali shrugged, shutting his English notebook. If only he remembered where he wrote it.

***

"That's everyone," Daruk shut the door behind him. "Sorry I'm late, had to finish something up."

Revali shifted in his seat. Everyone else was talking amicably, but something about the waiting felt like it was killing him. There, across the room, sat Link on his usual plastic kid chair. He didn't sign to anyone, and Revali didn't speak to anyone. It felt... Cold. Unbearably so. Daruk breaking the silence between them was a welcome change.

"Well- may as well." Riju hopped to her feet, dusting off her skirt. "This still makes me nervous."

Urbosa gave her a thumbs up, and she stepped up onto the stage.

Riju cleared her throat. "I wrote this during lunch yesterday, and I know it's a lot like what I read last time, but..."

Sidon wadded up a piece of notebook paper, holding it back as if to throw it. Laughing at that, Riju seemed to gain a little more confidence.

"Untitled."

"I hear them all  
Whispering with me  
What about her?   
She cut her hair short

"I worry one day  
She will be me  
They whisper about me  
So I keep quiet."

Cheers and glue sticks were hurled at the stage, and Riju left with a spring in her step and a smile on her face. Revali crumpled the scrap of paper in his hands tighter.

"I'll go." He stood up, surprised to find his legs shaking. 

Stop that. It's not a big deal- you've read before.

"I wrote this in English class I presume- but..." Revali cleared his throat. "I don't remember."

Looking around would only have given him confused faces, so Revali focused on the paper.

"It's not titled, but..."

"I show them all just the same  
Pictures thro' rose tinted glasses  
And I stop to pick up the ashes  
As I'm snuffed out like a flame."

The applause didn't even reach Revali's ears as he pasted the scrap of paper to the wall- wedged in right along the others. It really looked like it belonged there. He sat down still in a haze, fiddling with the edge of his skirt.

Why did it feel so strange? What was it about that poem, that introduction, that was still making his legs shake? Revali replayed everything about it again, replaying all of his words.

"I don't remember." Revali murmured, the breath catching in his throat.

Don't get angry.

He admitted it. Why did he admit it? He could have just lied, like he lied about everything. None of them had to know, and none of them would know. But he chose to tell them; hell, the last poem he had read was pretty obvious on that point, and no one judged him.

But if they really knew...

Revali swallowed, crossed his legs, and leaned back into the couch.

"I'll go last for today?" Sidon said, standing up slowly. "We are running a bit late."

Urbosa elbowed Daruk at that, who stuck out his tongue.

"Return." Sidon announced.

"Yellow is the sky  
Every morn' when I rise  
Sun over the mountains  
My heart- with fountains  
Sings for her return  
I flush with excitement, burn  
With passion, come near  
To the one you once held dear  
I see her in this room  
No, she won't be back so soon."

As Revali clapped he let his eyes search the room. Riju clapped loudly, but her wide grin had lowered into a thin smile. Mipha bit her lip, eyes full of pain. Daruk stood up, held up a glue stick, and gestured for Sidon to come over to him.  
Sidon practically stepped off the stage right into Daruk's hug. He looked like he was being crushed, but neither of them seemed to mind. After they both let go, Sidon took the glue stick and stuck the poem high on the wall.

Riju with the closet, Sidon with whoever left him? Revali squeezed his eyes shut, thinking about all of the poems he'd heard in the past weeks. 

Why was this all coming to him now? His memory was a two-edged thing for sure, why did it show up now?

Daruk with whoever he lost, Zelda and her religion, Mipha's anxiety, and Urbosa being overwhelmed in life but holding strong. Everyone else has their issues, and they were obvious. Except...

Meeting from across the room, Link's eyes found Revali's. What was his problem? Revali had only heard one of his poems, about the bullying, but what did he normally write about?

Wait.

Frozen in place, Revali swallowed. Was he that obvious? All of his poems were vague, sure, but was it clear what he was talking about? Daruk's poem had been vague, but the way he said it made it plain. Everyone's was like that really. Could he write and still hide what was going on? If not, he'd be in big trouble.

"Revali!" Riju was shaking his arm when he woke up, he'd brows drawn up in worry.

Revali shook his head. "What?"

"Are you okay?" She asked, hand still resting on his shoulder. "You zoned out there for a few minutes, the bell rang."

"It did?" Pulling himself up to his feet, Revali took a deep breath. "Well, we should probably get going. I'm fine, by the way."

A puzzled look in her face, Riju took a step back. "You know, you're not how I thought you'd be at all."

Deep breath. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean..." She furrowed her brows. "Urbosa is my big sister, and you know Ganondorf-"

Revali winced at the full name. Gan never used it; Ganondorf was always his father.

"And usually, I guess... Being his friend I thought you'd be really fake and that you wouldn't be genuine at all, but you seem," she took a deep breath. "Real. Every time you step up to the stage you seem so confident."

Revali smiled, but his chest felt cold. "I'm glad it seems that way."

Riju returned the smile. "Now come on- we're going to be late to class."

His legs still shook on his way up the stairs, on his way to class, and through the rest of school. Genuine? As if. If she really knew... 

Did she know? The poems on the walls called Revali back, but he kept on forward. 

How much had they figured out?

Don't tell anyone. Don't be angry.

Revali Medoh Gale never fails.


	13. Close to Nine

On Friday school seemed to pass in a haze, and afterward felt even duller. Revali was doing anything just to occupy the time, to distract from the rumbling in his stomach and the fuzziness in his head. Of course, this weekend wasn't going to be spent with his uncle, which opened whole new realms of anxiety.  
Ghirahim wanted to do something over the weekend, as always; but of course he had to make it over-complicated. Nothing with him could be simple. 

So that was why Revali was lying in bed, on his back, staring at the window. His phone, set to vibrate, laid on the portion of his chest exposed by his thin red tank top. If someone texted the group chat he'd know, but the window was far more interesting at the moment.

After the... Incident, Revali had been moved into a room on the first floor of the house. Given the split level, that meant that it was essentially the basement and all the windows just sat high enough to see out onto the back lawn.

You'd have to climb out of that window. You can't jump- not like the upstairs ones.

Revali squeezed his eyes shut, trying to focus on anything else. Soft and warm, sunlight drifted in through the sheer curtains. Everything in his room was already in it's place, other than the suitcase still sitting in the corner. He had already emptied it out and done laundry, but what was the use putting it away when he would just need it again next week?

His phone buzzed, and it was in Revali's hand within the second. It wasn't Ghirahim, though. 

Why was the Poet's Corner group chat texting him at this hour? They only ever messaged during the school day, and it was getting close to nine.

(Urbosa): PM

That was it. The whole message. Was he supposed to know what that meant? 

(Sidon): Meet outside the school?

(Urbosa): The backdoor will be unlocked

Revali exhaled slowly. Well, that explained that part. Now, to get out.

(Sidon): Bring your notebook!

(Link): ???

(Sidon): I was reminding Revali

(Link): K

That part would be easy enough, anyway. Sneaking out to go where he wasn't supposed to was practically Revali's specialty. It only took a few minutes to grab his backpack, empty out his books, and repack with just enough things to make his mother believe he was going to Ghira's house. He slung the backpack onto his shoulder, cast one final look at the window, and stepped out the door.

"Mom! I'm going over to Ghira's!" Revali called on his way up the stairs.

Sliding on a pair of flats, he waited for a response.

"Be safe!" She called back. "Are you walking?" 

"Gan's meeting me at the sandwich shop." Revali lied, fiddling with the doorknob.

"Alright, be safe."

"Yes, mom."

"And call me if you need a ride, don't walk home in the dark."

"Yes, mom."

"Love you!" She yelled, then turned the vacuum on.

"Love you too." Revali said, turning the knob and heading out the door.

***

"So- here's how this works." Daruk's voice bellowed, seeming too loud and not loud enough all at the same time.

The air in Poet's Corner felt electric, all of them buzzing at the edges of their seats. Revali clutched his notebook in his hand, hanging off Daruk's every word. The poems on the walls seemed brighter, more vivid in color.

"We'll pair up into groups, trade notebooks, and choose poems for each other to read. Good?" Daruk explained quickly, stretching. "Good. Pair up."

Revali took a deep breath. That was bad- how many of them were there? Eight? Never mind, that would split up perfectly. But who?

It was bad for other reasons, too.

Riju immediately made a beeline for Urbosa, being her sister and all. Revali guessed they were close- closer than him and his siblings, anyway. Daruk was giving Sidon a noogie, which Revali guessed meant they were a pair. Zelda and Mipha were both sitting in the same armchair, when...  
Link sat down right next to him, and handed him a little red notepad. It was opened, and on the top line was a sentence scrawled in messy handwriting.

"You're going to have to read for me." The page said, and Revali nodded.

Link snatched the notebook back, his pencil flying. "And I'll need your notebook."

"Oh, of course." Revali loosened his death grip, handing over the notebook. "That has my English work in it too, just a warning."

Link nodded, and they both got to work. His notebook seemed to be full of the same type of comparative poetry, but also more varied, experimental styles. It didn't take long to find something different than the other poems, more recent. Revali thought he was drawn to it because it was happier.

He hoped Link would have the same mercy.

Hell, how has he just handed that notebook over? Who knew what Link would see? How had he been so stupid, he might find out-

Giggling, Mipha and Zelda stepped onto stage hand in hand. They made an insanely cute couple, but even their antics couldn't make the beating in Revali's chest calm. 

What would Link choose? He was still rifling through the notebook.

Don't get angry. Don't tell anyone.

Mipha cleared her throat, then handed Zelda her notebook. 

Zelda blushed. "I wrote this during physics, when I should have been taking notes."

"Colors fade and change  
But somehow stay the same  
The morning dawn is red  
Bathing us in light.

"Winter grows to spring  
And we forget everything  
But each other's names  
Those will still remain."

Mipha smiled, and handed her a glue stick, which Zelda promptly used to stick the poem to the wall.

What would Link choose?

Zelda came back to the stage, and handed Mipha her notebook.

"It's a little long, don't you think?" Mipha asked, but Zelda shook her head.

She cleared her throat again.

"My body is cold  
But your lips, they warm me  
I cannot give love  
Yet you continue freely

"You say I love more  
That I am the greater part  
But I am cold  
And I see all your own heart

"I say I'm too little  
That you've loved me too soon  
But darling, you whisper  
If I'm the sun, you're the moon."

Mipha let out her breath, cheered on by nearly if not everyone. With a small smile she pasted the poem to the wall.

Link stood up, handing Revali his notebook and hurrying onto the stage. He held his notebook already.

With a pounding heart, Revali followed. Stepping onto the stage, turning around, then looking down at what he had to read.

"Anything but this," he whispered, the blood draining from his face. "You can't."

Don't tell anyone.


	14. Be Honest Here

"I won't, I can't- I can't read this. It's not..." Revali's voice faltered. "I have to, don't I?"

Daruk started saying something, but Link nodded.

Revali took a deep breath. "I'll read yours first, Link."

Link handed over his notebook, which had another note scrawled at the top.

"Link wrote this on Tuesday, after Poet's Corner." He began, trying to just focus on this poem.

"Stares ahead unblinking  
Into the unknown things  
I wonder what he's thinking  
If my face crosses his dreams

"All I see is him now  
Though he stares ahead  
No, his eyes have now found  
My own eyes instead."

Link shrugged, and grabbed a glue stick thrown at him by Sidon. Face uncharacteristically red, he stepped off the stage, and Revali suddenly felt very alone.

He reopened his notebook, read over the poem, and cleared his throat.

"I wrote this late Monday night, in my room." He started, taking in a deep breath; but added a lie. "I was thinking about my ex."

"Keep it together  
Keep it together   
Keep it together- don't fall.  
Don't worry if they see you at all,  
Because they do.  
Inside you know it's true.  
Keep it together  
Keep it together."

He had let out a shaky breath, then took another one in. He started once more.

"Don't lose your head.  
Don't loose your head- I said.  
Not as you lie trembling in his bed,  
He's right beside- fast asleep,  
Your silence you must keep.  
Don't lose your head.  
Don't lose your head.

Stop acting stupid.  
Stop acting stupid- fake a smile.  
Show your teeth and taste the bile-  
They don't see.  
That close they'll never be.  
Stop acting stupid.  
Stop acting stupid."

They don't know who it is. They don't know; he could be anyone. He had dated a lot of people, after all; and Nekk would be a natural conclusion. They don't know-

A glue stick hit Revali square in the forehead, breaking his train of thought.

"Sorry!" Sidon squeaked.

Revali managed a smile, took the glue stick, and went to the wall. It took some effort to hide the poem, but eventually he got it high enough up that at least Link wouldn't be able to read it.  
But Link had read it, and that's why everyone heard. Everyone knew, everyone-

No one knows. It just mentions a 'him' and they all think it's Nekk. It'll be fine.

Don't tell anyone.

Daruk and Sidon took the stage next, Daruk exhaling slowly as he read over the notepad in his hands.

"Sunset." He announced in a soft voice, gentler than Revali had ever heard him.

"Gold drips from above   
Fading to nothing, slowly  
My soul goes with it"

Applause, and Daruk took a deep bow before sticking the haiku up to the wall. Sidon fiddled with the paper in his hand, already ripped out of his notebook.

Revali's eyes met Link's from across the room, and anger flared up in his chest.

"Why?" Revali mouthed, still maintaining the appearance of not being able to sign.

It was maddening, but who knows how much it would come in handy? He couldn't tell him now.

Link tapped his phone, and Revali pulled his own phone out of his pocket.

(Link): It stuck out to me, more than everything else

(Revali): Is t because it didn't have a name, date, and location written?

(Revali): *it

Don't get angry. Don't get angry.

(Link): maybe? I don't know

(Link): I liked the repetition

Scowling, Revali thought it out. Did he call him out on it?

(Revali): You knew I didn't want it read.

Link is typing...

Sidon was reading now, but Revali got the sense that neither of them were listening. He couldn't listen not with the blood rushing in his ears.

(Link): yeah

(Revali): So it was revenge?

(Revali): I know I deserve it, but still a dick move

(Link): why?

Furrowing his brows, Revali leaned back in his seat. What did he mean? Glancing up for a moment, he found Link furiously typing.

(Link): Why didn't you want it read? Nothing about the poem was really bad or cringy or anything, unless you're hiding something else

They met eyes, and Revali regretted how he had underestimated him.

(Revali): That's not your business.

(Link): I know

(Link): You can be honest here tho if you know how

(Revali): I know

(Link): I know how suffocating it is to hide something like that, if I guessed right.

(Revali): Something like what?

(Revali): I don't know what you're talking about.

Sliding his phone back into his pocket, Revali glanced around the room. Everyone was clapping now- Sidon had finished his poem and was now pelted with glue sticks.

Link looked him in the eye, still clapping, and gave one solemn nod.

Shit.


	15. Your Place Is

Sneaking back into the house was no problem for Revali. He had done it countless times before, after all. The only tricky part was knowing which parts of the stairs to step on; after that you were home free. Especially since most of his siblings had moved out now.

Turning the knob slowly, Revali let himself back into his room. No noise was coming from upstairs, no lights were on when he got home, so it was safe to assume that he hadn't been detected. If anything, his mom would assume that he had stayed the night and got a ride home early in the morning.  
Revali slung off his backpack and wriggled out of his jeans. They weren't as tight as some, but he still felt oddly constricted.

Link thought he knew.

Shutting that out, he folded the pants neatly and put them into their proper place in his drawer. Link didn't know anything; he was bluffing. He was still just trying to get back at him for everything he'd done.

No, Link thinks he knows

Revali growled in frustration, but kept undressing. He wasn't about to stay up all night again, even if tomorrow was Saturday. Stripping out of his shirt, he resisted the urge to just leave it on the floor. If Link started something that got Nekk in trouble, he could care less.

"Everything has its place," Uncle Ray's voice reminded, even though he wasn't there. "And your place is-"

Revali froze, suddenly feeling unable to move.

Deep breaths. Don't get angry.

Why was anger the first feeling tat always came up? Everything else was easy to avoid - the sadness, the hopelessness, lethargy - but anger was unavoidable.

Why?

Revali walked over to his mirror, staring at his form there. He didn't look like someone who'd be angry; he looked just like he was supposed to. Perfect skin just a shade lighter than his father's, soft waves of dark blue hair, and piercing green eyes. His body was small and lithe for the most part, but showed clear indications that he was an athlete. Slim shoulders boasted strong arms, and the indentation of abs became more obvious the less he ate.

But why all of this now?

Because you're angry. You're angry that Link knows, that you couldn't keep a secret like you were supposed to, that you failed. 

Link doesn't know. He just knows enough to start a rumor.

Revali sucked in a deep breath. His body was perfect, not disorderly. Nothing about his appearance betrayed anything but a preference for femininity. Link didn't even know who 'he' was really, how could he? He just thought it was Nekk- or a different ex boyfriend.

Turning away from the mirror, Revali took off his underwear. As pretty as he was, and as good as his body was, looking at himself entirely naked was still a struggle. Everyone struggles with that, though. It's alright- you're fine. Normal.

Not normal, but better than normal. Your place is being above; being better. Looking better acting better-

Not letting anyone know.

But Link knows.

No he doesn't, Revali insisted to himself, gritting his teeth. If so, no one would believe him. No one could believe him. He doesn't have any proof; plus he doesn't even know the truth.

What other poetry did Link read? What else is written in that notebook that he saw, but decided not to read? He didn't know, there was no way he could know. 

No, he could know.

Frantic, Revali grabbed his notebook from his backpack and flung it open. What had he written in here? There couldn't be anything-

At the top of the page, neat cursive, no signature- just a title. No date either. Revali stated at the poem, wishing it would go away, wishing that Link hadn't seen it.

"Smile."

That was the title and Revali knew it would haunt him floor the rest of his short life. Link hadn't chosen the poem to get back at him, not entirely. If he wanted to do that, he would have picked this one. 

He had to have seen it- there's no way he didn't.

Parts of Revali fought, half of him wanting to text Link, to figure it out, to make sure he was safe. But the anger and bitterness kept rising, and something about it wasn't being denied.  
What was it that Link had said? You can be honest here. What if he was honest?

None of the other shared their issues outside of Poet's Corner. Zelda and Mipha's relationship was a secret, no one knew Riju liked girls, everyone thought Urbosa's confidence was unwavering.   
So why would they share his?

Revali looked over his shoulder, at the reflection in the mirror. It seemed wrong to look at himself like that, the reflection didn't look real. He was thinner, paler, and had darker hair. Bruises covered different spots on his body: wrists, hips, and neck.

Don't tell anyone.

Revali grabbed a pad of sticky notes and marked the page for Tuesday.


	16. Called Under Scrutiny

*Beep beep beep*

Rolling over in bed, Revali reached out to grab his phone. Sleeping in wasn't an option, after all; only waking up a little later than usual.

And, per the norm, there were texts from the group chat he missed. With a sigh, Revali unlocked his phone to scroll through them all.

(Ghira): Anything going on this weekend?

(Zant): Cia gets back on Sunday

(Ghira): We already have plans for that I meant anything fun

(Zant): Nope. Gan?

(Gan): Not that I know of

(Ghira): Revali?

(Ghira): ...

(Ghira): Hes probably not on his phone

(Zant): He's always on his phone

(Gan): Not when we want to talk to him, he isn't.

Revali winced at that. They would be upset at him on Monday, if not outright. He had to make sure and be at the airport on Sunday afternoon.

(Ghira): Ouch. Meet at my place?

(Zant): Sounds good

Gan sent a single thumbs up after that, but there were still two unread texts from Ghirahim. The fact that they weren't in the group chat did nothing for Revali's nerves.

(Ghira): Are you there?

(Ghira): were hanging out at my place today if you get this

Revali rolled his eyes and turned off his phone. He would have to reply eventually, but that could wait until after- no, he wasn't having breakfast, it could wait until after a shower. He felt dirty everywhere.

***

It was almost ten o'clock by the time Revali remembered to text back.

(Revali): Sorry I wasn't there, I had to help my mom with something

The screen flashed through sending to delivered to read at lightning speed. At least one of them must have had his phone out already.

(Ghira): oh it's fine

(Ghira): we all just assumed you were 'helping your uncle' every weekend now

Revali sucked in a breath. For once the thing he didn't lie about, going to his uncle's house, was called under scrutiny. Shit.

(Revali): No, my mom wanted me to help her deep clean the bathrooms, since Jesse is out of town this weekend

(Ghira): Jesse?

(Revali): My sister?

(Ghira): the one Zant had a crush on all of freshman year?

(Revali): That's the one

(Ghira): oh I forgot her name

(Ghira): you have too many siblings

(Revali): Can't disagree with you there

(Ghira): We're all at my place come over

(Revali): be right there

Shutting off his phone, Revali sat up and stretched his back. Now for finding something to wear that would pass the test of his crazy friends.

***

"Revali! Part of me wondered if you would really show up." Ghirahim flung open the door and practically pulled him into the house.

Out of habit, Revali took off his shoes. No one wants to be wearing heels relaxing around your friends, no matter how cute they are.  
Of course, relaxing isn't exactly how this was most likely going to go. 

"We were all just watching a movie upstairs. Of course, Zant can't just watch a movie- he still has to talk the whole time." Ghira rolled his eyes.

Revali scoffed on cue, but he couldn't help feeling wrong about it.

"So I hope you've seen it before, well, we're in the middle of watching so I guess it doesn't matter." He shrugged, leading the way up the stairs and pushing open his bedroom door.

It felt like it had been forever since he was in here, even though it had only been weeks. The room still looked the same, of course. Off-white carpet, white wallpaper, black and white houndstooth bedspread, and a red pillow gave a coherent color scheme followed by everything else. The whole house looked a little bit like that, courtesy of Ghira's neat freak mother. Everything had to be perfect.

He thought it looked like a diner, personally; but his own room was like that too; just in a different way. Everything had to be perfect.

"Hello? Zoning out again?" Ghira snapped his fingers in front of Revali's face.

"Oh, sorry." Revali wondered how long he's been out. "It's been a while since I've been here, is all. New rug?"

He pointed to a diamond shaped rug partially hidden under the bed. 

Ghira raised a pale eyebrow. "It really has been a while, hasn't it?"

Gan frowned at them. "Shhh."

"Sorry!" Ghira whispered, then hopped over to the bed, sitting down in Gan's lap.

Revali took the spot next to Gan, behind Zant who held the laptop. He couldn't really see the movie from this angle, but hearing it was good enough. The name of it escaped him, but it was one of the early two thousands 'coming of age' movies that Ghira loved.  
They only watched movies that Ghira liked, or occasionally Gan. It was just how things worked. That had been easier back when they were all into the same things, but...

Revali glanced around the room again, then back at Ghira. White high-waisted pants, black cold-shoulder long sleeve, and a red scarf made up his look; with the dyed platinum blonde hair and crisp eyeliner he looked exactly like his room. All except one thing, that is.  
On the wall, arranged on the right of the doorway, were picture frames. The pictures inside were of all of them through the years, from when they met in middle school and beyond. Ghira's hair was still brown and reached his shoulders, Gan with his hair all done in braids, Cia's emo phase, and Zant back when he had headgear.

Why were Ghira and Cia drawn to him again?

Revali let his eyes wander to Zant. At the beginning of seventh grade he didn't have headgear, so that was working in his favor. Really it was probably his sister though- Midna had been a senior back then, and her reputation alone was enough.  
The problem was that he hadn't really... Grown since then. Physically speaking he had; starting T had some drastic changes, plus the time he shaved his head... But he was still the slightly dorky kid who wanted to be a forensic scientist when he grew up. Unlike Cia and Gan's hopes, he never grew up to be his older sister; and likelihood was he'd never understand that was what they wanted from him.

Revali had grown up with them. He was always attracted to feminine things like that, but it wasn't until Ghira started embracing it that he really went with it. They had both drawn into that, aided by Cia's greater knowledge.

But Zant? He was still running from femininity at ten thousand miles an hour. If he didn't fit in maybe it could be chalked up to that- but Gan didn't fit it either. He didn't fit because he just didn't match the image- no matter how much he tried.  
Revali gave a grim smile. They were just the opposites- the real question was who would be forced to leave first.


	17. Anything to Prove

Sunday and Monday both were lost to Cia talking about her trip, which made Tuesday a relief. Lunch couldn't come soon enough. Revali fiddled with the edge of the sticky note sticking out of his notebook.

Was he really going to read this?

It almost felt like a challenge, or something to prove. He couldn't back down on a challenge, never. Revali Medoh Gale doesn't back down on challenges. Reading the poem would be proving that he was, at least, capable of honesty with one group of people.

It would be breaking the trust of another, but what did that matter? He couldn't really do any damage- he'd never know.

Don't tell anyone. Don't-

Still, the notebook felt abnormally heavy in Revali's hands. Was proving a point that worth it? What about the questions, the comments, how would they think about him once they knew? What if they thought he was weak?  
Revali took a deep breath as he pushed open the theater door. They didn't ask anyone else questions. 

What if they thought he was lying?

Shit. Even as Revali followed the others down the steps his mind raced. He's a compulsive liar, it's what he does; they could easily assume that he was just faking it for attention.

Taking a deep breath, Revali tried to calm himself. Just go first, no, go last. That way there's no time for questions, right? Last it is.  
Revali sat down in his spot from last time: on the grey plaid couch. They could still think anything they wanted about him, but he would read that poem. It didn't matter what they thought anyway. If they spread rumors it would just sound bizarre, and they wouldn't sound credible.

You still can't tell, you're letting him down.

Revali bit the side of his cheek. He didn't have to tell them now, he could just tell them later. What did the timing matter, anyway? It wasn't like Link-

Wait. Was this really all for Link?

The whole thing, telling them, it was just his pride blowing everything out of proportion. The fact of the matter was that Link was the only one even suggesting that he had to tell them.   
Still, something in Revali's chest ached. He wanted to tell them, for someone to know. Hell, Link already partially knew after the PM on Friday night.

And they just thought he slept around. That was a plausible explanation, with a stretch and some... Creative liberty.

Letting his eyes fall shut, Revali took in another deep breath. He could do this- he would read the poem and then it would be over.

The sound of Riju whooping and clapping beside him shocked Revali out of his head. Apparently Sidon had just read a poem, and a good one by the reaction. He looked around to meet Link's eyes, but he wasn't paying attention.

Now, before you lose courage. 

As soon as the commotion dies down Revali stood, brushing off the back of his skirt. Evening out his breathing, he stepped onto the stage.

"I don't know when or where I wrote this, just that I did." He announced, opening the notebook. "Smile."

He made eye contact with Link, and felt his pulse rise.

"Because someone told me to be more honest."

Link's eyes widened, his shoulders stiffening.

"Smile at your sister as you pass-  
Smile at your brother, and laugh,  
Smile at your grandfather with no teeth-  
Smile at him again, or he won't leave."

Revali's voice was quivering, and his hands shook. Clearing his throat, he started again.

"Smile for him when he asks.  
Smile when he offers you a flask  
And drink it- drink it down.  
Smile when he'll take you 'round town.

"Smile when you get into his car.  
Smile, his hands aren't very far  
Smile though every touch hurts-  
Smile when your body hits the dirt.

"Smile and smile with every breath,  
Smile so you look happy in death.  
Keep it up, they'll never know-"

Don't tell anyone.

Revali choked. "I can't read this."

You failed- how did you mess up that badly? Just read it, just finish. At least finish-

Daruk stepped up into the stage next to him, and Revali flinched when his arm wrapped around his shoulders.

"You alright?" He asked, and Revali nodded.

"Fine." He snapped the notebook closed, keeping a death grip on it to keep his hands from shaking.

Daruk didn't let go still, and Revali was glad for it. He was impossibly warm, and the contact almost hid his shame.

Then he saw Link.

There he was, all but smiling in his tiny chair. He was right- he couldn't be honest even when it wouldn't affect anyone. 

"I guess you were right- I don't know how to be honest." Revali said, trying to sound cold but his voice still shook.

"What?" Link signed, face drawn up into pity.

"I don't know how to be honest- not here, not ever." Revali repeated, strong this time. "That's what you said to me, isn't it?"

Link paled.

"No- never mind. I'll finish." He straightened his posture, shrugging off Daruk's arm. 

"You don't have anything to prove." Link signed, his eyebrows drawn up in what looked like worry... Still pitying him.

"No, I'll do it." Revali stood up straighter, stepped onto the stage. "I'll just re-read the last stanza."

Staring at that poem, Revali could feel his throat drying up. His tongue felt heavy, lips slow. Thoughts of just who he was talking about races through his mind, his promise not to tell. He couldn't throw that away.  
Closing the notebook once more, Revali wordlessly stepped off the stage. 

You failed, his voice whispered.

No. I succeeded.

Don't tell anyone.


	18. Assess the Damage

As soon as the Poets stopped reading Revali fled out the door, up the stairs, into the theater and out into the hallway. As quickly as he could he scrambled into the nearest bathroom, hiding in a stall. 

Breathe. Just breathe.

He promised, and now he had almost broken that trust. Link knew and everyone else almost knew something- what if Link told them? He was careless, and now he has broken his trust.

Revali started to choke, his stomach roiling. He barely opened the toilet seat in time to vomit, emptying his already empty stomach.

Someone was knocking on the stall door.

Revali panicked, peeking under the door to see the shoes. Ratty yellow converse.

"Go away, Link." He spat, standing up on unstable feet.

Link knocked again, very softly.

With an angry sigh Revali opened the door, not caring whether or not he hit Link with it.

"I'm fine." He insisted, wiping his mouth. "That was just a stupid decision. I knew I couldn't read the poem."

Link frowned. "You do know sign?"

Shit. He hadn't meant to give that away too.

"Yeah, I've been studying it for the past couple of years." Revali admitted. "I can understand reasonably well."

"Why'd you lie about that?" 

Revali raised an eyebrow. "To see how much you talk shit about me."

Slowly, Link nodded. "Fair enough."

"Now if you'll excuse me-" Revali stepped past Link, towards the sinks. "I need to assess the damage."

His face didn't look too bad, over all. His lipstick was certainly worn off, but with how his eyes watered it was shocking how little mascara had run.

Link tapped him on the shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Revali frowned. "Just fine, why?"

"Well, you did just-"

"Shhh." He scowled. "The whole school doesn't need to know about that. As far as anyone's concerned, nothing is going on at all."

"You didn't tell us anything specific, Revali."

Turned his attention back to the mirror, Revali blotted under his eye with his ring finger. He'd be fine, this was fine. Everything was-

Link grabbed him by the shoulder, spinning him around again.

"Revali, you're shaking." 

Was he? Revali couldn't tell. Okay, maybe his knees did feel a little weak. As used to heels as he was, vomiting would still put anyone off balance. But he was okay.

"I'm fine." Revali assured him, taking in a deep breath. "It's just... Nothing. It's nothing."

Link's eyebrows scrunched. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Why what? Why am I lying to you? Because it's safer."

"Safer than what?"

Revali froze, then sneered. "You're just twisting my words now."

But he's not- you just slipped up. You're just lying to him to make yourself sound less desperate. You need a way out; this can't keep going on like this.

Link nodded. "We're here for you, if you need it."

Revali managed a tight lipped smile.

Link was turning away now, walking towards the door. He couldn't leave, not yet. 

Heart still throbbing in his chest, Revali took a breath, let it out, then spoke. "Link? Why did you come?"

Link turned, wearing a confused expression. "What'd you mean?"

"Why you, instead of anyone else? We're not friends." Revali clarified, trying to keep contact with those blue eyes. "You said it yourself."

Link shrugged. "People change. See you Thursday?"

He was already on his way out the door when Revali whispered, "See you Thursday" back.

***

"He'll hate me if he finds out, what if he asks me?" Revali talked quietly to himself as he did the laundry, trying to keep his voice calm. "I can't lie to him, never could."

Perks of the few times his mom left him home alone: blasting music and doing chores with no one around to listen. No matter how loud the music was played, he still couldn't drown out the anxiety that has gripped him since lunch.

He shut the dryer, and turned the knob. "Lying is easy- plus, he has no way of knowing."

Deep breath- then exhale.

"He doesn't know that Link knows." Revali repeated, letting the tension out of his shoulders. "And Link doesn't really know- he could still think it was Nekk."

Even Teba doesn't know, he thought with a groan. And he was supposed to tell Teba everything. Pressing the button, Revali waited for a moment to hear the dryer whir to life.

Link could keep a secret for now- or so he hoped.

Don't tell anyone.

His stomach turned.


	19. In the Margins

(Link): How're you doing?

Revali groaned when he saw the text, pulling himself upright. It was one thing to wake up too early to a misplaced alarm, it was another to be woken up by a text message. He'd always been a light sleeper, but this was getting ridiculous.

(Revali): Why?

Yawning, he set down his phone to stretch his arms. It wasn't too early; he could just get up now and take a shower.

(Link): Because you were a nervous wreck yesterday

(Revali): I wasn't too bad

Link is typing...

Revali pushed off the covers and swung his legs over the side of the bed. All his attention was focused on the screen, counting the seconds as they went by.

(Link): you literally puked in the bathroom

(Revali): Fair.

Shutting off his phone, Revali tossed it onto the bed. First things first: shower. He could deal with Link's perception of what happened yesterday later.  
Of course, Link was right, but that didn't mean he ever had to admit it.

***

(Link): if your that okay you could always finish the poem on Thursday

Revali scoffed at that, sliding his phone into his pocket. He could respond to that later; all Link was looking for was a response. He knew what buttons to press, Revali had to give him that. There was no way he'd be able to finish reading that poem, and Link knew that. He was smart- Revali had to give him that.

The rest of the day was completely indistinguishable- all fading together. Revali didn't remember that he had even left the house by the time he got back from school, only that it was five o'clock now and he must have done something.  
Searching through his phone, Revali tried to find anything. A note, a photo- he tried to keep track of these things, but there was nothing. Looking through his backpack revealed notes taken all day through every class- and more poetry crammed in the margins.

With a sigh, he got to work trying to read what he had written earlier. The penmanship was terrible by his standards, cramped and nearly illegible. Slowly, he began to decipher it.

And quickly he determined that this was just more poetry he couldn't read.

Revali checked his phone again. No, it was definitely five twenty now; he wasn't just making up the time. He had gone to school, had written this, and hadn't remembered a single bit. 

"Maybe I texted someone," he grumbled under is breath. 

Link had been texting him earlier- no, that morning. He didn't think he ever responded, but-

(Link): if your that okay you could always finish the poem on Thursday

(Revali): *You're, and you're just being an ass now

(Link): ??? how come?

(Revali): You know full well I can't finish reading it

(Link): why not?

Revali but his lip, hoping and begging some greater power that he hadn't said anything stupid, or anything that gave him away. 

(Revali): You really are nosy, aren't you?

(Link): you rlly are secretive arent u?

(Revali): Why did you go through *all that trouble* to type out are but not you?

(Link): you correct ppls grammar instead of answering questions 

(Revali):...excellent observation, Sherlock.

(Link): I believe the proper response is, "No shit, Sherlock."

Revali snorted.

(Revali): No one under thirty says that.

(Link): guess I'm old then

(Link): you'll be at pc tomorrow tho, right?

(Revali): yeah, I'll be there

(Link): ooooooh you didnt capitalize the first word. Scandalous.

(Revali): Oh, shut up.

(Link): u kno u love it

That was where the messages ended, and Revali found himself smiling despite himself. Even after what Link had said, it looked like they could be friends after all.

Except he knows.

Revali pressed his eyes shut, trying to forget.

Don't get angry.


	20. Open the Door

"I don't have anything to read." Revali readjusted the straps of his backpack, tapping his foot on the slightly sticky theater floor. "What about you?"

Link smiled and waved a scrap of paper in the air. It almost looked like the corner of a textbook, but Revali as willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

He shoved the piece of paper bro his hoodie pocket, grinning. "I wasn't going to, but was magically inspired yesterday, no thanks to you."

Revali scoffed. "Well, you're welcome, I guess."

"Don't thank me yet." Link shrugged. "Why's everyone so late?"

"Don't know." Revali's eyes searched the door, then swept over the theater.

No one appeared to be hiding, that was good. But still, it was odd that...  
Riju pushed open the door, laughing. Sidon followed close behind, his face as bright red as his hair. Everyone else filed in soon after, suppressing grins.

"I do not! Not true." Sidon crossed his arms, pouting.

Riju smirked. "Yeah, you do! No use hiding it, just saying."

"That's, uhhh...." Sidon scratched the back of his neck. "None of your business! Now let's go, downstairs! It's nothing, Link and Revali, really-"

Sidon kept talking, but Revali stopped listening. Link unlocked the door, and they all made their way down the stairs to the room.   
The room itself with its eclectic setup and bright walls made Revali feel slightly nauseous, as if after last time he had no right to be here. 

That's not true- just sit down and listen.

Riju sat down on the grey plaid couch first, then waved Revali over to sit next to her.

"You doing alright?" She asked softly.

"Yeah, fine." Revali answered quickly, trying to avoid the conversation. "A lot better now."

Nodding, she pulled an envelope from her pocket and began mouthing the words to a poem written there. Her handwriting was near perfect; beautiful cursive, if a bit stiff.

Link stood up from his baby chair and stepped up onto the stage. Zelda moved to follow, dusting off her skirt, and hopping up in one fluid motion. He handed her the scrap of paper from earlier, which was clearly part of a textbook now that he could see it better.

Revali couldn't help but smile at that, but he hoped that part of the paper didn't have any important information on it.

Zelda cleared her throat, eyes ghosting over the poem. Giving a sad, questioning look to Link first, she began to read.

"Annoyance." She frowned. "Written in Biology class, texting someone instead of paying attention, at 1:23pm."

"I am the water  
Running down your arms  
Wetting your sleeves.

"I am the popcorn  
Stuck between your teeth  
Bothering you all night.

"I am uninvited  
I showed up anyway  
You wish I would leave.

"I am the admirer  
You never needed  
My love is confusing.

"You are the crush  
Like caramel in my teeth  
Sweet, slowly dissolving me."

Mipha silently threw a glue stick before exploding into applause. If Revali had to guess, he'd say there were tears in her eyes.  
Link smiled, took a bow, and pasted the poem onto the wall, overlapping perfectly with a full sheet of notebook paper. Revali tried to meet his eyes, but he couldn't; Link only looked away.

Daruk got up next, grumbling good-natured complaints about how old his knees felt anytime he got into the stage.

"You could use the ramp on the side." Urbosa reminded, but Daruk shrugged her off.

Revali got the idea that was an inside joke; those two seemed like they had been friends for a long time.

"Don't really know what to call this, but..." He cleared his throat. "I wrote it early in the morning, talking with... Someone you don't know on the roof of my house. It's another haiku." 

"Three thirty changes  
Time turns it to four am  
Can't we stay at three?"

A sad smile on his face, Daruk took a sweeping bow. A rogue glue stick smacked him in the back of the head.

"Hey!" 

Sidon squeaked an apology, but Daruk was already laughing and picking it up from the floor.

"You make an old man bend down like this?" He grinned.

"Shut up, you geezer." Urbosa chuckled.

Daruk stood up slowly, gripping his back like an old man. "Didn't anybody ever tell you to respect your elders?"

Definitely an inside joke. Daruk got off the stage, still performing the old man act until he got back to his seat.

Zelda stood up slowly, at the same time as Riju. Both of them simultaneously moved to sit down, then stood up again.

"You go first." Riju offered.

Zelda shook her head. "No, you."

Riju swallowed hard, but stepped onto the stage anyway. She seemed a little bit off balance, and sat down on the stool promptly.

"Um... I call this Invitation." She started, gripping the envelope like a lifeline. "I wrote it in my room after school."

She sucked in a deep breath.

"This invitation  
Is an invitation to sleep  
To stay over with you  
To see you alone

"Not alone  
Others will be there  
But I wish they weren't   
Could I stay with you?

"To lie with you  
Beside you there  
More than friends  
But this isn't that

"This invitation  
Is an invitation to sleep  
Not to lie awake  
Imagining you."

Riju blushed furiously, staring down at her envelope. Quickly the whole room was filled with clapping, and a glue stick fell into Riju's lap. With a deep breath she made her way over to the wall, stuck it on there, and returned to her seat.  
Revali made a point of smiling at her, but mostly because she seemed nervous. It felt like the right thing to do. She smiled back.

Link still wouldn't meet his eyes. What poem did he put his on the paper of, overlapping like that? It was too perfect to be accidental.

Zelda got up onto the stage, though Revali missed seeing her do that...and the introduction to her poem.

"Only dark and lonesome,  
Cold- and I'll go home some  
Four hours later-  
My lady demands her prayer.

"My Sir demands her prayer  
Stir, devotion 'tis not there  
Alone in the dark  
But surrounded by haunted souls

"They beg for rest from toil  
From burning midnight oil  
Recite again!  
And perhaps they will be forgiven

"Devotion, 'tis not pure  
Always, go home unsure  
Recite again  
Be lost again, a world of restless seas

"The sweeping seas surrounds me  
His chains- I am all but free  
And yet- she stands!  
And holds out a solid hand.

"There, is not my devotion  
Not prayers, wave as an ocean  
But alone,  
In the dark- I have found my home."

It's like the roaring applause doesn't even matter to Zelda. In that moment Revali could see her lock eyes with Mipha. Her soft smile was all the praise she needed. Grin wide on her face, she bounced over to the wall, pasted her poem on there, and sat back down.

Her fingers interlaced with Mipha's, and Revali found his heart aching.

Link refused to meet his eyes.


	21. The Scary Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, just a warning, I may not be able to post an update for this on Friday. I know- but... Life is busy, y'all.

The bell hadn't rung yet, but most of the poets were already on their way out the door. Sidon and Riju resumed their banter from before, and Mipha and Zelda most likely wouldn't release hands until they reached the top of the stairways.

But Revali still sat in his place on the grey plaid couch.

Link walked past in a hurry, rushing up the stairs and out the door. He still wouldn't even look at him; what was going on? Was there something else that Revali didn't remember? He didn't think so.  
Which is why he had to see what poem Link's had been set on top of. As soon as everyone was gone, he would check.

Urbosa, the last to leave, was halfway up the first set of stairs when Revali finally sprang up, rushing to the wall. Quickly he found the poem, having been staring at it for the past five minutes. The poem underneath is written on a full sheet of notebook paper, in cursive.

"Rinse and Repeat." Revali read aloud, his words sounding hollow in the empty room.

It was his poem, the one he read back when he just started reading here, basically. What was that supposed to mean? That this annoyance happened over and over? That he-

It dawned on Revali that he would be locked down here... Unless Link was waiting at the top of the stairs. It was a signal that they needed to talk. Grabbing his backpack, Revali made his way up the stairs, trying to convince his heart to be still. It wasn't working, he still felt as anxious as ever.

Did he like Link? Was that what this was?

He couldn't. Revali Medoh Gale doesn't fall for quiet kids, and certainly no one under six feet tall. Hell, Link is shorter than five feet.

But does he like him?

Revali but his lip, leaning against the wall. He might, and that was the scary part. Wasn't this whole thing about impressing him? Showing off to him? Why?

Because he was cute at first- messy blonde hair, chubby face, and beautiful blue eyes. Because he didn't immediately like Revali; he actually kind of hated him. Revali wasn't sure why that made him hot, but it definitely did. He wasn't like all the other guys he had dated over the course of high school.

Fuck, that sounded cliche.

But it really was... True. Link's friendship had to be earned in truth, not by playing into something fake. His laugh sounded real- wait, how did he even know that? Was he just making things up now?  
No, he heard him laugh at a poem once... He was sure about that. Definitely. And he had wanted to make him laugh like that.

And Link was smart; he put together the pieces with minimal effort, figured out what was going on... To some degree, at least.

Revali swallowed hard, forcing himself up the final three steps. The door was cracked open, and he knew who would be waiting at the top for him.

Push it open.

He knew that he would have to- Link was waiting on the other side. All he had to do was push open the door and he'd be right there.

His hands wouldn't move.

Push it open.

Don't tell anyone.

Push it open.

Don't-


	22. Anything He Wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, I guess I do have internet today, so you get a chapter! I'm traveling, so it's all kinda wonky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really creepy on the sexual abuse side of things! Some flashback dialogue is all, but it's a bit much

Revali Medoh Gale could have anything he wanted.

Revali tried to tell himself that, to force himself to leave the stairwell; but he couldn't. Not when he knew Link was waiting for him just outside the cracked open door. They both knew where the other was, they just waited for each other to make a move.

Revali Medoh Gale could have anything he wanted with one exception: no boyfriends he cared about.

He had boyfriends, of course. If he didn't then he couldn't be friends with his little circle. No, just never ones that mattered. Hell, he'd even fucked some of them. It all ended up feeling the same, though; like fingers calloused from writing, a doctor's steady hands.  
Revali shook his head. He couldn't be thinking about that now, especially now that Link was right outside the door and now he was picturing him naked.

What would he look like? He was chubby, of course, with a cute stomach and gorgeous thighs. His hips truly were amazing- Revali wanted to hold them in his hands, to pull him close. Pale skin like that would show bruises and hickies so beautifully. It would be impossible not to leave a trail down his neck, into his thighs... But that wasn't Link's body anymore, it was-

Revali shook his head.

Revali Medoh Gale could have anything he wanted.

Shaking his head again, Revali tried desperately to rid himself of those thoughts. He sounded so much like Uncle Ray in his head that it was painful- what if he ended up like that? What was the saying... Hurting people hurt people?

You're just like him.

"No, no I'm not." Revali muttered to himself, but his breath was already starting to catch. "No I'm not."

His voice was reaching hysterical levels, hyperventilating more and more with each choppy breath. Dropping to the floor, Revai put his head between his knees.

"Leg's spread, just like that." Uncle Ray's voice taunted in his head. "You look so pretty in that little skirt, don't you?"

Revali could see himself leaving a trail of hickies up Link's thigh, biting him softly. Mirrored on top of that action, it was reversed. He was the one lying there, legs twitching, skin being ravaged by-

"He isn't here," Revali choked out, squeezing his eyes shut. "Not here."

Don't get angry.

Closing his eyes did nothing, or at least nothing good. With his eyes open Revali could see that he wasn't there, with them closed the feeling of hands roaming his body never quite left. Tipping his head back against the wall, he could feel tears starting in his eyes.

"Shh, it's gonna be okay. I need you to calm down." A soft, raspy voice said, twisting into the voice of his uncle at the end of each word. "Breathe- inhale, alright?"

Following the request of the voice, Revali took a breath.

"Good, now exhale." The voice stammered a little bit, but he followed the direction.

"And again."

Soon enough Revali was breathing at an even pace, but he still refused to open his eyes. Whoever this was would ruin his entire reputation, most likely. In no time he'd be disowned by every single one of his friends.

He couldn't- he could do it. Eyes closed left the hands, but with them open... With his eyes open he would have to see who it was. He couldn't do that. Better to let them just... 

No, they won't leave, will they? They already know.

Gathering the courage, Revali cracked open his eyes.

Of course it was Link.

He was squatted down right there in front of him. Memories of what had happened right before the panic attack came back, and Revali felt so... Stupid. Impossibly so. Link was the only one around, but that would mean...

"You can talk?" Revali managed.

Link raised an eyebrow, and signed. "When I absolutely have to. It takes a lot of energy."

Revali nodded.

"That's what you're asking me though?" Link asked.

Revali raised an eyebrow, wiping under his eyes. "What is there to ask? I'm the one crying on the floor."

Link nodded. "True. You alright?"

Revali shrugged. "I'll manage. Late for class, I presume?"

Grinning, Link held up a pad of yellow paper: late slips. "Should be fine."

"Alright." Revali found himself smiling despite himself. "I need to go clean up, anyway-"

Slowly, he rose to his feet on shaky legs. Part of him debated taking his heels off, but if Ghira saw that would be the end of things. If Ghira saw any of this it'd be the end of things. Still, he chose to just lean heavily against the wall.

Link looked him over. "I'll come with you."

Revali frowned. "Sure about that?"

"I mean, if I may." Link added.

"Fine, fine." He took a deep breath. "How bad do I look?"

Link took five seconds. "Your legs are shaking, skirt is hiked up, your shirt is coming untucked, and your eye makeup is, well... A mess."

"Alright." Revali nodded. "To the bathroom."

Link nodded, and locked the door behind them.


	23. Sure to Remember

Link tapped Revali's shoulder. "So... What are you doing this weekend?"

"Nothing, I think. I..." 

Uncle Ray. The thought came back to Revali like a sack of bricks, tearing down his stomach and leaving him nauseous and dizzy. Of course, now that Link knew, now that he wanted something more between them, that's when it would be his weekend.

Revali shrugged. "Oh, I have a family thing I forgot about- I'll be gone all weekend."

Link raised his eyebrows. "Family thing?"

"Yeah, why?" Revali frowned.

"That's the weakest excuse ever." Link pointed out, the look on his face thoroughly unimpressed.

Revali turned his attention back to the bathroom mirror; top priority right now was fixing his eyeliner. "I'm really not lying this time."

Link raised one single eyebrow this time.

"Seriously." He rubbed at the corner of his eye. "I go help my uncle around the house every other weekend, it's- a normal thing.

Link shrugged.

"I'll see when I'm free though, okay?" Revali added, patting on a little extra concealer.

"Revali?" Link signed slowly. "Do you see anyone?"

Revali frowned. "What'd you mean?"

"I mean, I saw you at the same place my therapist is, and I was wondering if you have someone you can talk to." Link explained, hands tense.

As if.

Revali nodded. "I see a therapist there- I really am fine. It's just... Hard to talk about outside." 

Half truths are better than a full lie, Revali reminded himself. Parts of that were certainly true, but...

"Okay." Link nodded. "We should probably get going- you look great."

Forcing himself to smile, Revali flipped his hair. "Of course I do. Let's go."

***

Revali woke up when the car stopped moving. Blinking to clear his bleary eyes, he took in his surroundings. The right side of his head hurt from leaning against the window, that was for certain. Rain was falling outside the car, drenching his mom as she filled the car with gas. The gas station itself was unremarkable; just the little place they sometimes stopped in between home and Uncle Ray's.

But they couldn't be here- it was still Thursday, wasn't it? He was on his way to class, one of Link's late passes slightly crumpled in his hand. 

"Apparently not," Revali muttered to himself, stretching out his legs. 

It was Friday now, and he was on his way to Uncle Ray's. No, it couldn't be Friday. Unless...   
Pulling out his phone, Revali checked the date. It was Sunday, just as he feared. The tell-tale ache in his hips gave that away quite easily. Losing the whole weekend was unpleasant, but not entirely unexpected.

That's when Revali noticed his notebook, open on the floor of the car where it has presumably fallen from his lap. There, written on the page, was a poem that he hadn't written. Or at least one he didn't remember writing. The penmanship was far from perfect: the thick lined print looked as if it had been speedily written with a heavy hand. Regardless, Revali picked up the notebook and began to read.

Instantly, he shut the notebook.

How long had that been open? If his mother had seen it, he was dead for sure. Who knew what Uncle Ray would do to him; he had promised not to tell anyone, to keep it all secret.   
Tentatively, Revali reopened the notebook. Casting a quick glance at his mother first, he flipped through the pages until he found the offending poem again. It was graphic and telling in all the wrong ways- expressing a side of himself that no one wanted to see.

Don't get angry. Don't be angry.

Don't tell anyone.

The poem itself was good- or would have been good if anyone else wrote it. As it was, it felt too literal. He flipped the page, and found two other similar poems. Each seemed to be more desperate and angry than the last, making less and less sense.

The car door opened, and Revali slammed the notebook shut. 

"I hate this rain we're having. You'll have to go back next weekend to mow the lawn, right? That's what Ray told me." Mom slicked back the bits of wet hair that had escaped her braid. "You'll have to let your friends know soon- they always seem to be making plans."

Revali nodded. "I'll be sure to remember."

Just his luck; next weekend too. That would be a hard thing to excuse.

Don't be angry.


	24. Sick and Tired

Revali sat down at the lunch table, across from where Ghira currently sat firmly placed in Gan's lap. From the looks of it, he wasn't leaving any time soon.

"Mm, so how was your weekend, Vali?" Ghira said over his shoulder, clearly only asking for the courtesy of it.

Ghira didn't care about anyone but himself and Gan; it's just a known fact. He shot Cia a look. She shrugged in return, so they hadn't done anything interesting. That would have earned an eye-roll. Cia was great with non-verbal communication like that.

Revali inspected his nails; some of the polish was chipped. "It was okay- boring though. What did you guys do?"

Ghira smiled at Gan. "Not much- just had a quiet night in." 

Zant snickered. "Something tells me it wasn't so quiet."

Immediately, it was like an electrical fuse blew. Ghira was sitting straight up, steadying himself on Gan's shoulder. His expression went ice cold.

"What did you just say?" Ghira demanded, turning his head toward Zant.

Cis looked between them, smirked, and gave Zant a look that read a whole lot like 'good luck.'

"Nothing," Zant mumbled. 

Ghira's eyes narrowed, and if looks could kill Zant may as well have disintegrated. Ghira hated anyone talking about his sex life. No one was sure why, but it was a known fact. Why Zant had toyed with that, he had no idea.  
He opened his mouth to speak, but Gan rested his hand on his shoulder. Instantly, things were back to how they were before. Ghira relaxed onto Gan, Cia stabbed her salad with her fork with a little more force than necessary, and the tension in the air could have been cut with a knife.

"Ugh, I'm going to have to go back out to my Uncle's this weekend too, though." Revali remembered, rolling his eyes.

He too stabbed his salad a little too hard, feigning petty annoyance. It was easy, too easy to act around them.

Cia scoffed. "Can't he get someone else to do his dirty work?"

Exactly, Revali thought to himself, but he couldn't say that out loud.

"I know, right?" Revali picked at his salad. "But he doesn't have to pay me directly because I'm related to him, so..."

Gan grunted his displeasure. "You'll be gone all weekend again?"

Revali nodded. "I'd assume so."

He scoffed, and went back to gently caressing Ghira. A shared look between Revali and Cia carried one very simple meaning: Gross.

They continued filling the silence with amiable conversation that Zant stayed quiet through. That was his own business, not Revali's, but still it felt a little too wrong. Tension seemed to rise instead of dissipate, and with every second Revali wished that he had just eaten lunch in the theater like he always used to.

The real question is, who'll leave first.

The bell finally rang, offering much needed relief. They all gathered themselves; Ghira hopping off Gan's lap, Gan stretching slowly as he rose, and Cia dusting off her skirt. Zant bolted from the table so quickly Revali would have questioned if he was ever there at all.

"Hey, Vali-" Ghira's voice caught him before Revali could walk away. "What's with that shirt?"

He froze. Nothing was wrong with the shirt itself: a burgundy blouse with darts in the sides that made it so the fabric clung to his slight frame. There were no stains on it, and it was tucked neatly into his high-waisted black skater skirt.

"What'd you mean?" Revali asked, shifting his weight from his right to his left.

Ghira raised an invisible eyebrow. "I mean you've worn it what, three times in the past two weeks? It's like you're losing your touch."

Don't get angry. Don't get angry.

Revali smiled, sickly sweet. "Thanks. Might want to fix your eyebrows before class."

Anger flashed in Ghirahim's grey eyes, but Revali payed it no mind. He turned and strode away, shoulders back and head held high.

***

(Revali): What was that about at lunch?

Revali yawned, flopping backwards onto his bed. Zant would answer in a matter of seconds, just like he always did.

(Zant): what?

(Revali): Mentioning that they fucked?

(Zant): no clue what u talking about 

(Zant): in already forgetting that

(Zant): spacing out like u do

(Revali): But why'd you say it?

Nothing. Zant didn't text back for long enough that Revali wondered if he even saw the text, but right there it read that he saw it at 4:47. 

(Zant): I'm sick of them.

(Revali): What'd you mean?

(Zant): I'm sick and tired of how they talk about our sex lives or my lack of 1 and then they say "oh no u can't do that' and it's just ducking awful

(Zant): i hate the way they talk about u wen you're not around like there's something wrong with you bc I know they talk about me the same way

(Zant): it just pisses me off

(Zant): sorry that was a lot

Revali took a moment, sucking in a deep breath. 

(Revali): No, I get it.

(Zant): Thanks

(Zant): don't tell them bout this k?

(Revali): ok

With that Revali shut of his phone, yawned again, and let his eyes drift shut.


	25. Pencil to Paper

Tuesday always felt like it rolled around too soon. Every time Revali even thought about writing poetry it was like his gut churned. Just thinking about the poems he had written last weekend was enough. He had torn out those pages now, gone through and gotten rid of every single poem that had any incriminating evidence.  
All of those were now tucked into an envelope, hidden at the bottom of his underwear drawer.

But those didn't matter- none of that mattered. He just had to pull himself together and keep on.

Ghira and Gan seemed to be avoiding him, and Revali couldn't bring himself to care. If they never talked to him again, if none of them ever talked to him again he'd be-

Lonely. He'd be lonely.

Revali shook his head. He had the poets now, and that was what mattered. Plus, Link might even like him. That was what the poem, the placement, seemed to imply, anyway. He would be fine without them, without any of them.

Still, a part of Revali's chest tightened at the thought of not seeing them anymore. There was something fond in the way Zant blinked whenever he tried to wink, and Ghira's absent-minded babbling as he painted your nails. He would miss how Cia snorted when she laughed late enough at night, and sleeping on Gan's chest like a pillow.  
But still... Were they worth it?

Revali shook his head again, put his pencil to paper and started writing.

***

"Even when  
It's safe to say  
I never do  
I find a way  
To lie to you  
I guess it's true  
You are my friend  
And something new  
Something meaner  
Something worse  
I record you in this verse  
Simple friend  
Or maybe not  
Come to an end  
We never fought  
Just little things  
My hair- your brow  
My skirt I'm wearing now  
Little things  
Add up slow  
There are places  
I never go  
There are things  
I'll never say  
Don't take it that way  
But I have to go  
I am allowed to say no."

Revali shrugged, and put the poem up on the wall. It felt too rambling, too odd; but it fit how he felt better. It was strange, but not bad.

Link stared at him from his tiny chair, legs spread and chin propped up on his hands. It was like he was trying to figure him out, but Revali looked away. Since before, since last Thursday, he couldn't look at Link's body like that. It made him feel dirty, filthy, and if he was honest: guilty.

So he looked anywhere else.

Don't be angry.

Link stood up, the sudden movement drawing his eye to him. Revali quickly looked away, focusing instead on Zelda. The both of them hopped up on the stage at the same time, looking like an odd pair of twins. The exchange was made, Link handing over his notebook. 

Zelda cleared her throat, holding the notebook very close to her face. "Link wrote this... Saturday morning, in his room."

"If I die tonight  
The name of the poem I read you  
We sat on the roof with no shoes  
And you told me no."

The roof. The window. 

Revali shook his head. He couldn't think of that right now, he couldn't-

The window.

"You okay?" 

Revali blinked, trying to pull it together. He knew someone was speaking, but he couldn't place the voice. It didn't belong in his uncle's house.  
Was he in his uncle's house? He could see the window, but he could feel the couch beneath him.

"Revali?"

Jolting back to reality, Revali tried to play it off. "What? I zoned out for a second."

Riju was giving him a worried look, mirrored on everyone else. 

How long had he been out?

"I'm fine, seriously- you're all staring at me like I've grown a third eye." Revali laughed a tense laugh, crossing his legs as if nothing was wrong.

Riju blinked, then seemed to signal that everything was okay with a short wave of her hand. The others all sort of scooted back in their chairs, trying their best not to look at Revali.  
His pocket buzzed- well, the phone inside did.

(Link): u ok?

(Revali): Yeah, what happened?

Looking up, he scanned them to make sure he wasn't missing anything. The last thing Revali wanted to do was be texting while someone was reading.

(Link): u spaced out... Then started? shaking? Idk

(Link): is that normal?

Revali shook his head, then caught himself. Once more he made sure he wasn't missing anything going on.  
Urbosa seemed like she was reading over something, preparing.

(Revali): It happens once in a while.

(Link): if you need 2 talk 2 someone I know I'm not the best,but...

(Link): 800.656.4673 

(Revali): Who is that?

(Link): It's a sexual assault hotline theyd b better 2 talk to than me about it

Frowning, Revali debated just not responding to that. But...

(Revali): thanks...

(Revali): I really am fine tho

(Link): sure u r

And Urbosa took the stage.


	26. Holds me Closer

"I wrote this in my room, thinking about my best friends." Urbosa began, sitting up straight.

Daruk grinned at that last part, especially as Urbosa held up her hand to count syllables on.

"My moms will drive me  
Good, familiar- but I'm   
Getting a ride home.

"Starting college soon  
Good, I won't starve- but I don't  
Know how that will work.

"My friends, they love me  
Good, safe- but at the same time  
Do they? Or did they?"

Zelda choked, and covered her mouth. Urbosa's voice broke.

"She holds me closer  
Good, I love her- but she is  
Gone."

She stood up, stopping he count there at one. It was a blur what happened next; though Revali won't admit that it's because his own eyes filled with tears along with Urbosa's. Looking around, it appeared that everyone was crying or close.  
Urbosa herself declined Daruk's hug, and instead comforted Zelda for a moment before going back to her own seat. Zelda recollected herself.

And everyone sat in silence.

Revali guessed the poem was about someone who died, someone close to all of them. Was there anyone he knew? He didn't think so, but then again... There were some people who everyone knew. Looking at Zelda now, the way she steeled herself, he could almost place a name; but he was just fishing for answers.

"We can't leave like that!" Daruk announced. "Does anyone else have something?"

Mipha raised a slow hand, a couple of her bracelets clanking together. "But it hardly seems appropriate after what she just read."

Zelda shook her head and pushed lightly at Mipha, as if telling her to go. Daruk nodded.

Reluctantly, she stood and took the stage.

"So, to clarify..." Adjusting her skirt, she sat down on the stool. "I was looking through some old things of mine, and found some poetry from then. I wrote this after reading it."

"The first time I remember you  
Is braiding my hair  
Talking your share   
With father, sitting there too

"What felt like a forever  
Only five years  
Full of new tears  
I asked if you'd come back- never

"The last time I saw you  
In a courtroom  
Stiff as a broom  
Saying your due

"You let me go  
And I didn't forgive  
I wouldn't give  
That part of me, no

"But I forgot now  
You fixing my hair  
Those days we shared  
And I don't know how

"But I will let you go  
You aren't my mom now  
Just my beginning, how  
I started. And I let you go."

She winced. "Kind of sad still, in light of things, but-"

Zelda hopped out of her chair, onstage, and kissed Mipha on the cheek. "It was perfect."

Everyone cheered, the poem found it's place on the wall, and Daruk stood on the stage before anyone could move to leave.

"Just a quick one." He promised with a wink. "Written here, just now."

"What is it down here?  
Is there something in the air?"

He took a huge inhale through the nose, as if... Sniffing the room. Revali cringed at the noise. Daruk nodded.

"Smells like teen spirit."

That little bit of humor seemed to be what everyone needed- and the tension seemed to drop. As the poem was scribbled onto the wall with a sharpie Revali realized just how smart Daruk was: he knew what a situation needed.

With that, everyone started to file up the stairs, talking among themselves. Revali felt his phone buzz.

(Link): im srs abt the number tho

(Link): don't feel alone

He was just about to put his phone back away when it buzzed again.

(Link): me too.


	27. Tied to Him

"So, how's it been this week?" Teba asked, leaning back in his chair.

Revali shrugged. "It's been fine, I guess. Friends are still crazy, but not too bad. I've been able to pay attention in school."

"That's good." Teba nodded. "Any big blackouts or lost time?"

Revali shook his head, avoiding looking at the window. The shutters were up today, and the view to outside was just too obvious.

"Only a couple minutes or so." Revali answered, snapping back to attention. "It hasn't been an issue, really. Ghira woke me up and we all moved on."

Teba frowned. "Revali, are you going to tell me the truth?"

"That really is the truth, Teba." Revali sighed. "I've even taken up writing a little poetry as a pastime- that's why I'm a little tired. It's good self expression."

He paused, then added: "It makes me feel powerful. In control."

Teba raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. He only jotted down a few notes on his notepad. Revali glanced over at the window, then quickly turned back to Teba. He didn't want to get caught up in that again.

"So... It's all been great with your friends?" Teba asked again, crossing his legs. "What did you guys do this week?"

Revali shrugged. "We had a little movie night- well, Ghira and Gan made out while Cia, Zant, and I watched a movie. We hung out at the mall one afternoon- oh yeah, since Cia's back we did our routine people judging- we did a lot of stuff, really."

Teba nodded very slowly. "Just the normal issues of being around them?"

"Well, yeah." Revali shrugged again. "We're all awful to each other- it's fine, though."

"And nothing is wrong." Teba restated.

Revali nodded.

***

(Revali): Hey, are you free later?

As soon as Revali was out of the office, his phone was in his hand. Of course, he remembered, Link wouldn't be able to text back until after his appointment...  
Revali sighed, sliding his phone back into his pocket. He guessed he would just have to wait for...

The moment his phone buzzed it was back in his hand.

(Link): i don't have an apptmnt today so yea

(Link): why?

(Revali): You want to hang out?

(Link): no 1 says 'want to' over text. It's wanna

(Revali): I'm sorry I was taught how to talk like a civilized person.

(Link): th bttr u tok th worse I will

(Revali): Oh please stop, that hurts to try to read

(Link): then just type like a normal human

(Revali): K

(Revali): You happy?

(Link): was the k supposed to please me?

(Revali): maybe

(Link): okay okay fine where do u wanna hang out?

(Revali): I didn't think that far

(Link): what do u do when your not with your awful friends?

Revali paused. He didn't really know, most of the time, but...

(Revali): Archery. Why?

(Link): then lets go right?

(Revali): okay, I'll send you the address of the range

(Revali): meet me there, or do you need a ride?

(Link): I can drive, what's the address?

Revali sent the address, and pressed the button for the elevator.

***

"So... You still do archery?"

Link's first question came as soon as he hopped out of his car: a beat up, sky blue jeep. 

"Have for about... Four years now?" Revali spoke as if he guessed, even though he knew exactly when he started. "It's hard to say, exactly."

Link nodded. "I know you did, middle school state champ. I used to, but... School sports and I don't agree, and private teams are expensive."

Revali nodded. "They really are. Ready to shoot?"

Link shrugged. "As I'll ever be- it's been a while. Is that your bow?"

"Indeed. It was a gift from my- rich- uncle." His voice caught on the word uncle, but Revali tried to cover that up.

Why was archery so tied to him?

Link nodded. "Man, gotta get me a rich uncle."

Forcing himself to laugh, Revali turned towards the building. "There probably aren't too many people here on a Tuesday evening."

"Then let's go." And Link followed.


	28. Know each other

"So, what's been going on with you?" Revali asked, glancing over at Link.

It had taken a while, they had gone through renting Link a bow for a little bit; before just deciding to share Revali's. It would cost less that way, after all. The employee looked a little bored, so they doubted that she was too mad at them.

Link shrugged. "Something you'll learn: real people never do anything interesting."

"Really?" Revali raised his eyebrows. "I mean, I didn't realize that. Real people never do anything interesting?"

Link pouted. "Did you have to use the over-dramatic sarcasm voice?"

He grinned. "You know it."

"Okay, I never do anything interesting. That PM, whenever it was, was like, the most interesting thing I've done in forever." Link admitted, turning all the arrows so they faced the same direction.

"How sad." Revali commented, still grinning. "You go first?"

Link stuck his tongue out at him, then took the bow. Turning his feet just so, he drew back the string and fired. The arrow hit the fourth ring from the middle: not a bad warm up shot.

"You know-" Revali pulled himself up from his place, leaning against the wall. "You have the same problem I did. You shoot with your shoulders-"

Revali could hear Uncle Ray's voice layering over his own, but kept talking regardless.

"-too far forward. You need to center yourself-"

The voice remained, paired with the whispering feeling in his own ear, the hands moving his body into position.

"-like this. Adjust your hips like so.... And you're good. Excellent footwork, by the way."

Link scoffed. "Thanks, Mr. Gale. Are you my teacher now?"

Revali rolled his eyes. "Whatever- my turn."

Breathing slow, Revali focused on his target. Pulling back, aiming, and releasing. It was simple, mechanical- yet somehow archery was something he had never spaced out during. The arrow struck the second ring from the center.

Link nodded. "Not bad, champ." 

Revali rolled his eyes again. "Okay okay, you can stop with all that. Wait- you think I do interesting things?"

Link stopped. "What?"

"Earlier, you said that real people don't do anything interesting. You think I do interesting things?" Revali explained.

Link choked. "Did you- Revali Medoh Gale- just call yourself fake?"

Revali rolled his eyes. "You think how I act with them is real?"

"Absolutely not." Link grinned. "But hearing you say it is weird. Now I'm wondering if you have a face under all that makeup."

Revali could feel his face getting hot. "I just might- now shut up and shoot."

Link stuck out his tongue again before drawing back, firing, and string-slapping his wrist. Yelping in pain, he barely kept himself from dropping the bow.

"Careful," Revali warned in a dry tone. "The string can hurt your arm pretty badly."

Link glowered, but the edge of his lips twitched up in a smile. "Yeah, it can."

Revali blinked. He had done that back when he was starting, learning on his uncle's estate. He was a skinny kid, still was, and his elbows overextended, still do. Almost every time he released the string, it would slap that section of his elbow that jutted out. Uncle Ray had realized that after a while, and thought him how to hold his arm so the string wouldn't hit-

A hand waving in front of his face snapped him back to reality. "Earth to Revali- come in, Revali."

Revali scoffed. "Lost in thought. I used to string slap myself all the time."

Link raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. "Really? The great Revali Medo-"

"You can stop spelling out my name, idiot." Revali swatted lightly at Link's hand.

They both stopped when their hands brushed. Revali cursed himself on the inside, it was such a cliche, but at the same time... Link's eyes were so blue. His hands were warm. The way he had to look up to see him was adorable, and-

Link laughed. "Okay, spaceman. Anything that'll stop you from slapping yourself like that? It seemed like you would know, with your infinite knowledge and all."

Revali frowned. "I only did it because-"

He stopped, bending his elbow all the way. It didn't go far beyond the regular range of motion, but the center certainly did stick out too far.

"Gross." Link turned his head away. "Put that back- I get the point."

Revali smiled. Some part of showing people that was still a little gratifying; especially since he hadn't done it since... Middle school? None of his friends thought anything more of it than disgust- Cia most of all.

"So you do have weird, quirky little things about you. The robots are evolving." Link signed matter of factly. "Interesting."

Revali frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Link snickered. "We used to call you guys robots sometimes- it's like you're programmed to be the perfect high school dickwads."

Revali Medoh Gale was perfect-

Revali scoffed. "Well, we're not perfect."

Link shrugged. "No one is."

Shaking out his hurt wrist, he picked up the how again, drew back an arrow, and fired. The shot wasn't anywhere close to the middle, but it wasn't bad.

"Take turns?" Link offered.

Revali raised an eyebrow. "I thought we already were."

"Not with the bow." Link huffed. "Interesting facts about yourself. Ourselves. Get to know each other better."

Revali shrugged. "Fair. Whose turn is it?"

Taking the bow, Revali aimed and fired; the arrow hit just left of the target.

"Mine." Link shrugged. "I'm adopted."

He took the bow, and prepared to shoot.

"I have seven siblings." Revali said, right before he fired.

Predictably, the arrow swerved a bit and didn't hit the target.

"Seven? That's too many." Link signed the moment he handed over the bow to Revali. "I uhh... I'm trans."

Revali scowled. "I already knew that."

Link winked. "Doesn't mean it's not valid. Your turn.

Thinking was setting off his aim, so Revali lowered the bow. He could just mention his uncle, get it over with, but...

"I have scoliosis- that's why I'm so short." Revali said simply, then fired.

The shot wasn't bad, but it wasn't good, either.

"You? Short?" Link gestured to his own height. "I'm four foot ten!"

Revali shrugged. "All my siblings are tall- the shortest is five foot ten."

Link scowled. "That's not fair. And I guess... I have a dog."

"I don't have any pets." Revali replied.

"I've lived in this town my whole life." Link countered.

"My family moved here from the Tabantha area when I was eight." 

Link perked up. "Is it cold there? I love winter, it's my favorite season."

Revali's nose wrinkled. "Yes, it is cold. I hate the cold."

"Uhhh...." Link's hands made useless shapes as he thought. "I... Live with my aunt?"

"True. I... Can't think of anything else." Revali admitted.

Anything else that sounded good, Revali thought to himself, but that was another matter.

You should tell him about Uncle Ray.

Revali shook his head. That would ruin the mood; besides- everything was good right now. 

"Wait, doesn't this place close at six? We should get going." Revali commented, checking the clock on the wall.

It was 5:55, but that was more of a conversation changer anyway. 

Link nodded. "Hey, you wanna come over later? My aunts are really chill about that kind of thing, and-"

"I'd love to." Revali interrupted. "Come on, gotta go get the arrows. My mom will be here in a few minutes- she's always on time."

Link nodded again, and they went.

You should have told him-

Don't tell anyone.


	29. Go to Hell

(Ghira): Hey Vali, we're headed to Cia's tonite wanna come?

(Revali): Can't, sorry- busy at home.

(Ghira): got it.

Revali looked at that last text with a scowl before tossing his phone over beside him on the bed. Though he didn't remember much- any- of it, last night with Link had gone a lot later than expected. His eyes still felt dry and heavy, and his head felt lopsided. Though staying in bed sounded amazing, it was still Wednesday morning, and he still had to go to school. Revali pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut. If only he could get rid of this headache.

***

Paying attention in class was hell; Revali was fairly sure his notes weren't even comprehensible English, let alone coherent. When the lunch bell rang it offered a moment of hope- before Revali remembered again.

It was Wednesday. 

No Poet's Corner on Wednesday, unfortunately. He tried to hide his frown by coughing briefly into his scarf. Not a gross cough, of course- just clearing his throat.

Revali Medoh Gale is not gross.

But why? Sometimes, if he was honest, it would be a little freeing to let go a little bit. When you can't remember the last time you left the house in sweatpants, that's when it becomes a problem.  
No, he could remember; though he didn't exactly 'leave the house.' He was wearing them then, at the window, and they didn't have to cut them off. It's strange, Revali thought to himself, how when you're in an ambulance your thoughts are so simplified. You aren't thinking about the third story window you just jumped out of, just the fact that they would have to cut off his pants, or they would find the bruises-

A hand grabbed Revali's arm, shaking him out of those thoughts. The hand was small, childlike almost; other than the tips of the fingers, which were cracked open and bleeding.

Link released his wrist and waved a hand in front of his face.

"Oh! Sorry, I was... Lost in thought. Tired." Revali startled.

Link nodded. "Come on. Food."

"Yeah." Revali managed a little smile. "I don't usually... Eat lunch."

Link narrowed his eyes. "You never eat anything."

Revali almost argued, then stopped himself. "Touché. But I do have a sandwich packed."

"Incredible! the great Revali-" 

Revali swatted his hand to get him to stop. "Oh shut up, let's just go eat lunch."

Link raised an eyebrow. "Don't you have your friends to eat with?"

"Why would I eat with them?" Revali scoffed. "They make me feel terrible about myself."

Link blinked. "You know, I think it was less weird when you never told the truth. Now you don't say anything but."

Revali shrugged. "I have better friends to eat with, after all."

Link smiled. "That's what I like to hear."

***

Still bone tired, Revali was almost falling asleep when the final bell rang. Packing up his stuff quickly, he stood up, slung his backpack over his shoulder, and made a beeline to the door. In his heels like this, walking fast, no one got in his way.

He was still Revali Medoh Gale, after all.

Until he got to his locker. Even though he got there as soon as he could; there they were. Cia and Zant standing on one side of Gan, Ghira hanging off the other.

Revali laughed, trying to sound casual. "What's this about?"

"Oh, nothing." Ghira blinked twice. His fake eyelashes were too large for his delicate face, overwhelming his faint brows. "Just the fact that you weren't home last night when you said you were busy at home, then used us to cover for you."

Crap. It was was Revali's turn to blink slowly. His heart felt like it was in his throat. Part of him wanted to yell, to tell them that they didn't matter to him- but he knew that wasn't true. He couldn't do that, no matter how hard he tried.

"So, I was out last night- friends cover for friends, right? I've covered for you guys lots of times." Revali defended.

Ghira frowned. "No, you don't get it. You're never around anymore. Is it something we did?"

Don't get angry. Don't get angry.

Oh, go to hell.

Revali laughed, sharp and cutting, he hoped. "Well, all those times you said I was getting heavier when you know I struggle with body image is up there."

Ghira blinked again, opening his mouth, but Revali cut him off.

"Or when you'd insult my shoulders? That wasn't very cool. Or constantly just clique-ing off with you and Gan, leaving Zant and I to do whatever." He continued, only building up steam. "The remarks about my hair being frizzy? How I'm 'too tall the wear heels' even though we're damn near the same height? Calling my nose a beak even when I told you I hate that? Yes, it's something you did."

"That was all playful teasing." Cia claimed. "You're still one of us."

Revali scowled. "One of you? What does that even mean? Thinking we're better than everyone? Picking on people just for fun? And don't try to tell me all of that was playful teasing." 

"Why is all of this coming up now?" Zant licked his lips. "Why didn't you say something?"

"Because I didn't feel like I could without being ridiculed by all of you." Revali answered.

Ghira's overdrawn brows were turned upward. "What is this? Why are you-"

"Honesty. Try it sometime." Revali interrupted. "Now excuse me, that's my locker." 

Ghira moved to protest, but Gan stepped out of the way. The others followed.

Except Zant.

"You know, you didn't have to stand up to them like that." Zant said, licking his lips again. "And I mean like that. You could have like, been nicer about it?"

Revali, out of energy by this point, sighed. "I don't care. I just can't care about their shit anymore."

Zant nodded. "Still... You are our friend, even if... I mean, those two are mean to everyone. I don't think they mean it personally."

Revali thought about Link, about all those times of 'impersonal teasing.' "That doesn't take away from the effect."

Zant sighed. "So, I'm guessing I won't be seeing you around much, huh?"

"Oh no, you'll see me plenty." Revali shrugged. "At school, that is. I don't plan on totally fading out."

"Not a complete Vaati?" Zant asked.

"Well, we weren't exactly the kindest to him, either." Revali mentioned. "But I don't plan on totally fading out of existence. I will still be here."

Zant nodded. "See you around?"

"See you around."


	30. On One Hand

Revali nearly tripped and fell down the stairs on his way down to poet's corner. Despite his lack of sleep, it felt like pure energy was coursing through his veins, leaving him restless. Maybe if was the high from having gone off at Ghira and all them, or maybe he was just having a good day; but either way he was going to enjoy it while it lasted. He had even written a poem during English.

Zelda took the stage first, sitting herself down slowly. "It's been a rough couple of days- I wrote this last night. In my room."

"All my Life."

"All my life-  
A waste of space.  
A waste of time, a waste of grace  
But still I'm at church  
Selling 50¢ prayers for a dollar

"All the time  
For no reason  
Fall apart, 'tis the season  
To feel underwhelmed  
As everyone tells you to be happy

"All the same  
Every day  
Every week, I cannot pay  
My respects here  
As I freeze in my own lacking soul

"All for nothing  
All my work  
All my duties, I only shirk  
Responsibilities given me  
That I should be able to accomplish."

It was a sad, supportive kind of applause; but a loud one nonetheless. Zelda received a glue stick, and practically slapped her paper on the wall. It almost looked like the page of a bible, but Revali couldn't tell for sure. What he could tell, was that no one wanted to go after that.

Finally he stood up, dusting off his skirt. "Guess I'll read next?"

Hopping up onto the stage felt so familiar by now, it was like second nature. It felt like so long ago that he had been so terrified to read.

"I wrote this in English, when we were supposed to be working on that assignment." Revali admitted, opening his notebook.

Link groaned. "Don't remind me."

"Fate."

"Is it some force  
Binding us together,  
Bound with a tether,  
Never to let go?  
Or is it an art  
That I cannot depart  
When I am with you?  
Does it make us who we are  
Did it fill your eyes with stars  
Or is it more serious?  
Does it fill our hearts with hurt  
Did it throw us in the dirt  
Trying to make us stronger?  
I don't know what's it's hold  
But I know my place is sold  
Right here by your side."

Smiling wide at the applause, Revali's hand snapped up to catch the glue stick flying towards his face. With a triumphant spring in his step, he walked over to the wall and pasted the page from his English notebook high on the wall. Not because he didn't want anyone to read it, but because that's where there was room.

His phone buzzed.

(Link): I mite b jumping to conclusions but was that abt me??

(Revali): Maybe

He slid his phone into his back pocket, sitting back on the couch. Riju glanced over.

"You're awfully happy today." She noticed, elbowing him lightly. "What happened?"

Revali shrugged. "Well, I ate breakfast."

She nodded. "That certainly does make a diff-"

Mipha was taking the stage, and Riju clamped her mouth shut as soon as she realized. All eyes were glued to Mipha as she sat down.

"Well, I don't have anything to read, but... Does anyone else?" She asked timidly, crossing her legs.

Daruk looked around, then shrugged. "The floor is yours."

Mipha smiled, took a few deep breaths, then let her eyes fall shut.

"Wise men say  
Only fools rush in  
But I can't help  
Falling in love  
With you."

As she sang a complete hush fell over the room, everyone captivated by her voice; no one more so than Zelda, of course. It was like an angel was singing, and yet-

Revali and Link met eyes from across the room, and it all sunk into place.

"It was about me, wasn't it?" The signs were spelled out by Link's hands, but they both knew the answer.

The answer was the way Revali felt his face get hot, the way his heart pounded. Surely he could have this one thing, this one boyfriend he was allowed to care about. Link already knew how complicated the situation was, anyway... At least, all that he needed to know. 

"I think you know." Revali mouthed, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips.

***

"Hey, you doing okay?" Link signed slowly, each movement drawn out; his face was... Apprehensive.

Revali shrugged. "Why?"

They were at the library, one of the only places that Revali didn't have to lie to get a ride to without the promise of being with friends. Of course, he could say it was Link- but after Nekk his mom tended to be a little wary of unknown boy friends.

Boy friends- two separate words. Link and him weren't boyfriends. Not yet, anyway.

Why hasn't he just kissed him right there in poet's corner?

"Because you seem weirdly upbeat, and it's freaking me out a little." Link admitted. "More than a little."

"I feel good- really good." Revali said, running a hand through his hair. "I told my 'friends' how I really feel about them, and ate breakfast for the first time in... Months? And hanging out with you makes me happy."

Link maintained a little frown, but Revali didn't miss the blush rising in his cheeks. "I'm just worried about you, okay?"

You're ruining him, Rvali's thoughts nagged. Dragging him in, he doesn't know what he's walking into-

"Okay." Revali said. "So... Any plans for this weekend, other than not doing anything?"

"Nope." Link signed with a grin. "Though, you sound like you want that to change."

Revali but the inside of his cheek. On one hand, he wasn't free this weekend. On the other...  
He had been afraid to let go of his friends for years, and that had gone incredibly well. Ghira, Gan, and Cia sent their icy glares; but he found that he didn't care. Letting them go had been... Freeing.

"Confession time- I actually need somewhere to crash for the weekend... Starting tonight." Revali lied. "My parents are going out of town, and they don't trust my sister and I home together."

Link raised an eyebrow. "You can crash at my place, but I seriously want to know why now... If that's not too much to ask."

"Well, there was an incident with a window, and they didn't believe our cover story." Weaving a bit of almost truth in almost made it feel worse, but Link nodded.

"Window incident? That's exciting."

Revali forced himself to laugh conversationally. "Yeah."

Heart throbbing in his chest, his thoughts yelled and screamed. Nothing but a liar, tricking him and forcing him into something he doesn't know that he doesn't want. He doesn't know any better.

Link's hands moving cut him out of his thoughts. "Well, I think my aunts will be more relieved to see that I have friends than they will be annoyed that I didn't tell them earlier." 

Revali nodded. "My parents aren't like that at all."

"Well that's because you have friends." Link shrugged. "Or had."

"True." He admitted. "So, where are we headed? Or are we just walking away from the school?"

"Getting as far away as possible." Link winked, then took Revali's hand.

Blushing, Revali turned his face away.

You're ruining him, and he doesn't even know it.

***

(Revali): Mom, can I stay the night at Cia's?

(Mom): It's a school night.

(Revali): I'll be gone all weekend! Plus, she'll give me a ride to Uncle Ray's

(Revali): Little road trip type thing?

(Mom): Are there enough seat belts for everyone?

(Revali): Yeah, it's just Cia, Gan, Ghira, and I

(Mom): Zant's not going?

(Revali): He's busy with a science project he's doing for the fair

(Mom): Alright, be safe

(Mom): And remember a hat! It's supposed to be very sunny

(Revali): Yes mom

(Revali): and he's giving me a ride home, too

(Mom): he?

(Revali): *she's

(Revali): Love you mom

(Mom): Love you too <3


	31. All he Heard

School on Friday. Revali tried to remember, and came up blank. No surprise- he could never remember school days well. When he got back home he'd have to review his notes... Or get notes from someone else. 

The car went over a large bump, jolting Revali out of his thoughts for a moment. Link squeaked, but didn't release either of his hands from the steering wheel to sign anything. 

They had driven down a couple of towns to one of Link's favorite places: a little hole-in-the-wall pizzeria that he went to with his aunts every once in a while. The food had been well worth it, though Link's driving was a bit questionable at times.

Saturday, he had to remember Saturday. They had... Revali's mind came up nearly blank. The only thing he remembered was kissing Link, falling on top of him in bed- they hadn't done anything beyond kissing and clothed touches, but the thoughts still made color rise in Revali's face.

Ruining him. Just passing on what was done to you. 

Revali shook away those thoughts. It was fine, he had wanted it. They were both clearly communicating with each other.

You wanted it too, at first.

Revali squeezed his eyes shut.

Don't be angry. Don't be angry.

They had hung out with other friends on Saturday too, right? Yeah, that was it. And Sunday was today; they had slept in, eaten sugary cereal, and driven out to the pizza place. 

Was that everything?

No, there was still Thursday night. Had they gone to the archery range again? Maybe, he couldn't tell. All the thoughts were fuzzy and dark, he couldn't remember any of it. In was all just a blur; but it was a good blur. Nothing bad had happened between them.

They were coming back into town now, passing the big wooden sign that used to say the name, but didn't anymore because it was so old all the letters faded off. Still, the flowers planted around it were nice. They reminded him of the one time Ghira, Zant, and him had helped out with the eighth grade dance- they had all wanted flowers and couldn't afford them, so they had gone out to the field behind the middle school and picked them. It had been fun; but Ghira and Zant had gotten so sunburned that they were complaining for days- and right before the dance, too.

The car pulled to a stop, and Link tapped him on the shoulder. "You said to drop you off here?"

Revali nodded. They were parked in the parking lot of a little sandwich shop, about three minutes from his house and in the same direction as Cia's place. If he walked from here it wouldn't be suspicious at all- he'd just say that he was done with Ghira and Gan's sickening relationship. His mom would believe that for certain.

"You sure this is fine?" Link asked. "I could drop you off closer."

"No, it's good." Revali unbuckled his seatbelt. "It's not too far."

Link bit his lip. "Be safe."

Revali nodded and moved to open the car door, but Link tapped his shoulder.

"What are we?" Link signed rapid fire, his hands shaking.

Revali frowned. "What do you mean?"

Link was still biting his lip. "Are we dating? Are we friends with benefits? I mean, last night..."

Link scratched the back of his head, blushing a delicate pink across his cheeks and nose.

It came flooding back to Revali in bits and pieces: last night. The flush on his cheeks, on his chest, the little wheezing noise Link made as he breathed until he pulled his binder off; they had certainly done more than the innocent, clothed touches that he remembered from before. 

Revali flushed a bright scarlet, he was sure. "Well... What do you want to be?"

Link wrung his hands, looking down at his lap.

"I... I want to date you." Revali blurted, despite himself. "But that's just me, don't let that-"

Link grabbed Revali by the sides of his face, pulled him closer, and kissed him. It was a real, deep kiss with eyes closed and Revali's hands fumbling to find where they should be.   
Normally with boyfriends he was cool and composed, he knew what he was doing, he was the one who initiated kisses- but this was different. Link was different because he cared about him. It wasn't about how cute of a couple they were, it was about how he felt drawn to him, his he just wanted to know more about him.

Revali wasn't sure whether they were memories or daydreams coming to him, but he could see tender kisses and deep ones, pillow forts and hiding under covers.  
He never wanted to leave this car, never wanted to leave Link.

They pulled apart.

"Boyfriends?" Link signed, still blushing.

Revali could only nod.

"You should probably get going," Link signed quickly. "Your parents might be home by now."

Nodding again, he slowly reached for the door.

"Bye, Link." He managed.

Link waved, and he stepped out of the car. He retrieved his bags from the back, then started down to his house. The rolling suitcase clattered behind him, but Revali didn't hear it. All he heard was the little gasp of Link's breath.

His mom was standing outside the house, her face drawn up in worry.

"Where were you?" She demanded, then bit her lip.

She wasn't crying. She never cried- no, she cried in the hospital, after the window.

"What do you mean?" Revali lied. "I was at-"

"Uncle Ray is dead." She said, but Revali didn't hear it.

His head was spinning. "What?"

"Uncle Ray is dead."


	32. Falling too Long

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for attempted suicide, be safe!

The words echoed in his mind, even though Revali didn't quite understand them. It wasn't right, how could it be right? Every fiber of his being argued the opposite.

"Uncle Ray is dead." His mothers matter of fact voice said, her eyes not full of tears, but still mournful.

Uncle Ray wasn't her brother, after all. She hardly knew him, beyond the typical way you knew your spouses siblings that lived nearby. A picnic here, a camping trip there, and a few scattered family reunions scattered throughout.

Family reunions. His mother was touching his shoulders, her hands were laid there, heavy. No, she had hugged him- whose hands were those?  
They were Uncle Ray's hands, the way he had told his mother that her youngest child was lovely. He had blushed then, eager for any affirmation as to the way he felt. He was wearing one of his first skirts: a pleated black thing that fell to his mid thigh and cinched tight around his waistline.  
Now his hand was around his wrist, and they were going to his truck because he had forgotten to grab the lemonade. Or was it barbecue sauce? Revali didn't know, but he was the youngest cousin by far, only twelve years old, so he was the one who had to walk all the way over to were the cars were parked with Uncle Ray to get it.  
He looked down, expecting to see the dirt path. They had hiked out a little ways to a covered dining area near a campsite for the reunion; the path there was rough, bordered by lush plants on either side. But Revali wasn't focused on the path, he had been focused on the swish of his skirt around his legs and the low timbre of Uncle Ray's voice.

Instead, he saw a different scene. He wasn't wearing a skirt, but a pair of black high-waisted jeans- and his favorite blue scarf was around his neck. He was standing at a desk at school, leaning on it a bit. His backpack, he could feel, was lazily slung over his shoulder.  
But the hand there was Link's. Link's small hand, with blood around the fingernails from worrying too often. From worrying because of him, he was the one at wrong here, he was the one grabbing Link's hand.

But Uncle Ray is dead.

The scene continued. Uncle Ray had let go of his wrist and held his hand- he argued that he wasn't a child anymore, that he didn't need his hand to be held. He had agreed. They reached the truck, the lemonade was in a large pitcher in the passenger side seat, buckled in. He had laughed at that- Revali could hear himself laughing there just as he knew he had been laughing the night before, with his friends, before he knew that Uncle Ray was-

How was he dead? He had been so full of life, the way he laughed at the seatbelt around the lemonade, confessing that it was a funny idea. He was the one who poured them a couple of glasses, and offered the put 'a little extra' in both of them because, in his words, Revali wasn't a kid anymore. He had asked what Revali was interested in, and when he said archery he had really listened. He was the one who bought Revali his first bow, the first blue hair dye, his favorite scarf that he was wearing right now as Link reached down and grabbed his hand.

How was he dead? 

"He wasn't that old," he can hear his mother saying, and he knows her face is puzzled. "Only a few years older than us- only two older than me."

Yet Revali could hear it all broken down into fragments that tore into his soul. His fifty-third birthday had just been a few months ago, in the summer. He could feel hands on him, hands up his skirt that most certainly did not reach to his mid-thigh. Fifty three. The number made him want to vomit, it made him want to punch something, it made him want to-

Don't be angry.

Revali's eyes snapped up in a moment of clarity, staring at the window. He was in the basement, practically. The split-level house meant that the window began about halfway up the wall. He couldn't jump out of it if he tried.

But he had. And the hands were all over him but they weren't, there wasn't anything on him. Revali could see that much clearly; he was lying in bed, in his bed, wearing nothing but his boxers and a tee shirt. He sat up slowly, feeling the soreness in his body. 

Fifty one. He was fifty one.

He clenched his fists, angry for the first time. How could he? His fourteen year old nephew, only twelve at the time that he snatched him up, all because of that cute little skirt that made him feel good about himself. What was it in that lemonade? How had he let him do this?  
Revali stood up, and reached over for his sweatpants. He never wore them around his house, only here. He had to be perfect everywhere else, to be good. Here? Here he was allowed to let his hair down.

How had it come to this?

Revali clenched his fists. It wasn't going to stay like this. He would tell someone, he would- he couldn't. Instantly the feeling took hold; this wasn't a secret he could live with. He would tell someone and die, somewhere along the line, or he would end it here. He could write a note, explaining everything, and hide it in his pocket.

So he did. Then he left the room.

Uncle Ray was a gardener. That's what he loved to do when he wasn't teaching his students; the grounds of his estate were his real passion. He would be up tending to the plants, not in the house.  
So Revali went up the stairs, leaning heavily on the wooden stair rail. It was a beautiful house- the kind with secrets, the kind with ghosts, the kind with all sorts of fourteen year old skeletons hidden in the closet. Maybe this is the only way anyone will ever know.

He came to the top floor; the third floor. There was his target: the study window. It was a large window, looking out over the gardens. He couldn't see Uncle Ray on this side- perfect. He must have been on the other side of the grounds. Down below, the grass looked so soft, so inviting. It would be a hard fall- killing him on impact- but it wouldn't be a bad place to fall to. He could rest knowing that he died there.

Nothing else seemed important, and Revali searched around the desk, eventually finding a heavy enough paperweight and throwing it right at the middle of the window. With a crash it went straight through, sailing out into the grounds.

"Here goes nothing." He said to himself, double-checking that the note was in his pocket.

It was just like firing a bow. Inhale- Exhale. He corrected his footwork, steadied his shaking hands. It was okay. 

Link reached out and grabbed his wrist. 

And Revali ran- out the window, crashing to the ground below. Falling, falling, falling; he had been falling did too long. What was happening? He screamed.

"Revali! Wake up!" A voice, a hand gripping his wrist, shaking his shoulder.

Revali shuddered, blinking his eyes. He wasn't falling. He was in his room, and his older sister Jesse was shaking him. The window was open. It was dark outside.

"Gosh, you were screaming again. Haven't done that in ages." She complained, then stopped. "You okay?"

Revali froze. Was he okay? Could he be okay? 

They didn't have to cut off his sweatpants, and no one looked in the pockets. His head had been hurt but he lived- with doctors appointments and periods of memory loss blamed on the injury, when he had been shutting things out for a lot longer.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." He shivered, pulling the blanket around himself. "What day is it?" 

She blinked. "Really early Monday morning. Go to bed, bird."

Revali nodded. "Night, Jesse."

"Goodnight Revali."

But wasn't though. It couldn't be.

Revali wrapped the blankets closer around himself and began to cry. He didn't know what to feel, he couldn't be angry; but he could still cry.


	33. Should have been

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really, really heavy on the Uncle Ray. It is a lil heavy- just warning ya.

Hazey. That was the best word to describe... Everything. Revali ran himself through it all again.

He lied to his mom on Thursday, to spend the night at Link's house. He spent the whole weekend with him, not at Uncle Ray's.  
He died on Friday afternoon. They found his body in the bathtub on Sunday, already breaking down in the hot water. Revali knew the master bathroom well; the large window in one side let in the sunlight, so an afternoon bath after the work was done would stay warm and beautiful. Living in a secluded area had it's perks. No one would look in that window.

Though, Revali supposed that had been a downside in the end.

He couldn't picture it. The body, his uncle, breaking down into flesh and bone, lying in a bathtub for days.

All because he died of a heart attack. All because no one was there.

All because Revali had spent the weekend with his friends instead of where he should have been. All because he wasn't in his place.

No, stay focused. Don't get angry.

Sunday night, he got home. That's when he kissed Link in the car, pulling him closer. He hadn't even listened to the last of what Link was signing, just pulled him close and kissed him.

How could he be so awful? How could he do that? Revali's eyes flashed back to yesterday, when he jumped out the window. That was Monday.

No, he jumped out the window years ago. Yet Link had grabbed his hand, his wrist, and Revali had dragged him down with him. Is that why he didn't die? Because Link softened the fall?

No. Link wasn't there. Revali wasn't there when Uncle Ray needed him, and that's why he was dead. Instead he was with Link, kissing in cars and touching a little too loudly for thin walls.

"Revali, do you know the answer to number twenty three?" The teacher asked, and Revali shook his head.

The teacher frowned, opened her mouth, and Revali spoke before she could.

"I'm going to vomit." He announced, then covering his mouth, raced to the bathroom.

When he made it to the bathroom, nothing came up. He couldn't think about that; he couldn't think about anything. All he could do was go back to class, take notes, and hope that he didn't remember it later.

***

Tuesday. It was Tuesday, what was so special about Tuesday? There was something, anything-

Poet's Corner. He had missed it. He had missed Link, his friends, everyone who helped him kill a man without even knowing it.

That's what he wanted, after all.

Revali squeezed his eyes shut. He could afford to; he was home now. He didn't want him dead, only when he was angry. 

Revali Medoh Gale is not angry. He is calm and good and perfect, aren't you? 

He loved him. He was his uncle, after all. They had countless good times together, outside of that house. He had been good to him, kind, generous. He never did anything Revali objected to.

Revali didn't object. He wasn't supposed to, because he was good. He was always good: dressed nicely, good grammar, perfect posture, perfect makeup, and never an objection on his delicate lips.

Shaking his head, Revali squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't think of that; he couldn't think about his uncle. He didn't know how he felt, he didn't know how to feel, because there was no one to tell him how to.

All he could do was stay in this room, for now. Study his schoolwork, read his notes, and keep his grades up. That was good, that was something he should do.

Revali opened his English notebook, and flinched.

Poet's Corner. Tuesday and Thursday. He'd missed it. The only place that he didn't need to be perfect. Now all he could do was stay in this room, stay here and write. Now that he had missed one day, could he go back?

All he could do was read the poetry. With shaky hands he snatched up the envelope, tucked in his underwear drawer where no one would find it.


	34. Couldn't do this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really gross and heavy on the uncle ray, proceed with CAUTION.

"No, like this-   
This is how you use your words  
If you want to be heard  
You tell them what you know.

"No, like this-  
Fold your words to hide yourself  
It's good for you, your health  
That they do not know."

Revali read the short poem aloud- not so loud that his family would hear, but the walls in the Gale house were thick.  
That poem was simple enough, but had been too incriminating to read in the actual Poet's Corner. It wasn't the worst by far, but it was still too much. It was too similar to the many little talks they had, too late at night for Revali to object. All too similar.  
He cleared his throat and began to read again, at a rhythmic pace.

"The deadly seven  
Keep from heaven  
Always portrayed  
In that same way."

"Their vapid smiles  
All the while  
We laugh at their vices  
Left to their own devices"

"Glutton holds her wine  
In a thicker hand, thicker waistline  
Do not eat or drink  
Or you will surely sink"

"Sloth daintily reclines  
Rests her tired eyes  
Do not sleep they tell us  
It will not improve wellness"

"Envy holds a green eyed stare  
Bids us all easy beware  
She wants their finer forms  
As she looks at herself forlorn"

"Wrath's eyes hold fire  
Stamp out evil desire  
They bid silence and fear  
Your secrets are not safe here"

"Pride holds her head aloft  
Cut from a different cloth  
Taught that way, to be above  
To need no other love"

He swallowed again, drawing in a shaky breath.

"Greed piles up her store  
Needing more and more  
Others do not cross  
Her mind is all but lost"

"Six have counted well  
Six are sent to hell  
Six left alone and shamed  
Six with sins are maimed."

Deafening silence. Taking a deep breath and clenching the paper in his shaking hands he started back up.

"Lust is the worst  
With anger may burst   
At a mention of her name  
At her thin, sightly frame."

His voice was deeper now, breaths shorter and eyes harsher. How had he written this?

"With envy her they see  
Envy, for she is not for me-  
So they force her to become theirs"

"They take her body with greed  
Though they own no need  
They pull her apart anyway"

"Anger rises within  
For she fights against the sin  
Deliver yourself and be easy"

"Gluttony, she is only mine.  
She is devoured in no time  
Her body is left bare"

"Pride in her pretty face  
Pretty clothes, and pretty grace  
She is what you trained her to be."

"Sloth does not become her  
As she rests in heavy slumber  
Wake and work again"

"Lust she is said to be  
Lust- it's her, not me!  
But I tell you lusts true form."

"Lust is a man in a three piece suit  
Eyeing that forbidden fruit  
He sees the prize  
Moves in with lidded eyes"

"He cares not for her, tis true  
Only what she can do  
He steals her away  
She is his for today."

Revali's spoke through a clenched jaw, with tense shoulders drawn up- but suddenly all that tension was gone. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale.

"She will never escape.  
She is his forevermore."

How? How and why? It wasn't blatant to anyone but him, but it brought in that feeling- that anger deep in his bones. It made the pages foggy, everything blurred. His thoughts raced in circles.

"They aren't real, I remind.  
They aren't real, they hold my hand  
They aren't real- they're in my mind  
So why can't I just forget?"

"I see them in my dreams.  
Every night I pray for them to leave.  
But all is not as it seems-  
When they do not disappear."

Those were the last two stanzas of a poem called 'Fingers,' and now Revali couldn't feel anything but the way they slid up and down his body. It was like looking in the mirror, something he avoided when mot fully clothed.

He felt alone. So very alone, yet not alone enough. 

Don't get angry. Don't be angry.

He turned the page. The last stanza of a poem he couldn't finish reading.

"Smile and smile with every breath,  
Smile so you look happy in death.  
Keep it up, they'll never know-"

He swallowed, clenching his teeth.

"Smile at your uncle as he goes."

Revali didn't read, he recited. The last line was smudged out with an eraser that didn't work properly. He turned the pages, back further and further, trying to find something else, something not about him-

The very first poem he'd read in Poet's Corner.

"Nothing is close its all too far  
Everyone's wishing on dying stars  
We're all dying with them  
All our dreams are gone

"We're all just wasting time here  
Gripping those things we hold dear  
We hold them too tightly  
They all fall apart

"Now I'm strangled- my death  
You've robbed me of my breath  
By trying not to lose me  
You've killed me instead."

But he didn't kill him. Revali choked. He didn't kill him, but Revali- 

He couldn't do this. He couldn't. Revali snatched up the phone from where it lay on the bed beside him, frantically searching for the group chat. He grabbed only his jacket and the envelope from his underwear drawer, leaving the phone behind.

(Revali): PM


	35. My Uncle's House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you can't guess by the title of the chapter, this is also very heavily Uncle Ray content. The poetry gets a little graphic. Be safe <3

Everyone was huddled by the door to the theater, shivering, by the time Revali got there. Link obviously hadn't made it then, since he was the one who carried the key. Sucking in a deep breath, he made the turn around the corner, crossing the parking lot.

Silence. Maybe there'd been conversation before he got there, but it was dead as soon as they saw Revali.  
Riju didn't hesitate to break off from the group, joining Revali and walking next to him, almost leading him to the door. Revali wondered if she thought he couldn't find the way himself.

"How're you doing?" She asked, glancing at him up and down.

Not, "What happened?" or "Why weren't you in school?" Just "How're you doing?"

Revali shrugged and mumbled an incoherent response. The next thing he knew Link was shouldering his way past Daruk and opening the door. They all made their way inside with a collective sigh of relief. It was getting colder outside, especially at night.  
But no one stayed just inside the door, but everyone hushed their talk and made their way through the theater, down to Poet's Corner.

Revali forced his eyes away from Link, and moved his feet forward.

***

"So... Is everything...?" Zelda'a voice trailed off, her eyebrows turned upward.

"Fine." Revali put on his most convincing voice. "It's all fine."

She nodded, clearly not convinced. "So... Trading notebooks?"

Revali nodded in agreement, hoping his eyes didn't look as cloudy as they felt.

Link sat next to him on the couch. Revali didn't see him, but knew that it was him beside him by the little red notebook that made it's way into his hands. Revali handed over his envelope.  
Revali flipped through the notebook, selected one almost at random, then handed it back to Link.

They met eyes, and Link nodded. The poem was fine, but he pointed at the poem on the papers Revali's envelope was full of. His face was full of concern, fear, and... Revali didn't know. He couldn't figure it out- but he nodded.

Other groups went first, and Revali tried to pay attention but it all blurred together. Daruk's haiku was about a greenhouse, and Sidon's about swimming out into the ocean. They were all little things, but he still couldn't focus.

He wanted to. He wanted to read every single poem on these walls now to distract himself from that itching feeling inside of his chest.

Then it was their turn. Revali stood up mechanically, and made his way onto the stage the same way. Link's notebook was given back to him.

"Link wrote this... In his car, Sunday evening." Revali swallowed. "It's untitled."

"It took a long time  
Three houses  
Two mothers  
Two fathers  
Four aunts  
Four schools-  
But I think I found my home."

Link was given a glue stick, pasted the page into the wall, then returned to the stage. The temperature seemed to plummet.

"I wrote the first half of this poem at my uncle's house when I was last there, and the second half in my room earlier tonight."

"Freeze frame.  
That's how the movie starts  
There you are, all your parts  
Exposed on your uncle's bed.  
You're giving him head.  
Is this a game?   
A joke?  
Usually it would be  
I think you'd all agree  
A movie doesn't start like that  
A story can't start like that  
I think I'll choke  
Because mine did  
Been this way since I was a kid  
And didn't know better-  
I didn't know better!  
Not when I wanted to wear skirts  
Not when I told him it hurts  
Not when he told me to be quiet  
Not when inside I felt like a riot  
Was flooding through my brain,  
Was I going insane?  
Shh. Don't tell."

He took a deep breath, but his voice remained level. Not once did his eyes stray from the paper, not once did his voice shake. 

"The frame continues.  
It all just stays the same  
Seriously, this movie is lame  
All weekend nothing different   
The kid acts indifferent  
He doesn't do anything  
What does he feel?  
Is any of it real?  
Because all I remember  
Coming home in September  
Is the soreness in my hips  
The bruising on my lips  
Where I told him I loved him  
But did I really?  
Does he hurt me if I don't know  
Is it hurting if I always go  
Right back to his home  
Knowing we'll be alone?  
I keep up the lying  
While I just keep dying  
I can't trust what I can't see  
But I feel it blatantly  
Pushing me down  
His lips are in a frown  
As he lies on the bed  
Legs spread  
Just how he was taught  
Just as he ought  
To be a good boy  
But there is no joy  
No gain  
No pain  
No worth  
No hurt  
Nothing kept from this weekend  
Just a hollowness inside  
As this movie ends."

Brushing the messy hair out of his face, Revali took another deep breath. He switched to the other side of the piece of paper.

"But the movie's over  
And now I recall  
As I retch in a stall  
His taste on my lips  
His hands on my hips  
The hands never leave  
They grope and I grieve  
I see red  
But you can't hate the dead  
Not when he was good  
He did what an uncle should  
Payed for my first bow  
Sure, he never let me say no  
But what did that matter?"

Absolute silence. He shut the notebook. Took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. 

A glue stick was put into his hands, but Revali didn't know who put it there. He only noticed because their hands were colder than his own. He stood up, slowly.

How had he just read that?

Swallowing, he stepped off the stage and walked to the wall. There, he put the poem, both pages, close down to the ground. Not many poems were there, and he didn't want this one to be viewed excessively. He returned to his seat.

"My uncle died last weekend." He announced, staring at the floor. "I was supposed to be at his house- I go there every other weekend. My family, and everyone else for that matter, thinks that it was to help him around the house."

He paused, taking in a breath. Saying it out loud was suffocating.

"It wasn't." He choked, unsure of why his throat felt tight. "I... You're the only ones who know. Not even my therapist."

Revsli found himself in Daruk's embrace, the shirt beneath his eyes damp. He didn't even know that he had begun to cry, but he found he couldn't stop.

Don't tell-

Don't-

It's too late, anyway.

He just kept crying.


	36. How I Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's more talking about the suicide attempt/uncle ray/child abuse in this chapter, so be careful <3

People started leaving Poet's Corner at about eleven o'clock. Urbosa and Riju were first; Urbosa being ever the good older sister making sure Riju got to bed early enough, despite her protests. Sidon and Mipha left after that, taking Zelda with them. It seemed that, outside of school, those two were completely inseparable. 

"Will you guys be okay if I head out?" Daruk asked, his mouth stretching into a yawn. "I'm good if you want me to stay, but-"

"No, it's fine. Go ahead." Revali cut him off, feeling more like his usual self. "We'll be good."

Daruk raised a bushy eyebrow, chuckled, then patted Link on the back. "Don't get in too much trouble."

He winked. Link grinned back, and Daruk hopped on up the stairs. The door shut behind him.

Link raised his hands, but Revali closed his eyes. "I should have told you, I know." 

When he opened his eyes, Link wasn't angry. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." He blurted, then covered his mouth. "I mean... There isn't really much to talk about, that I remember, anyway. I have, um, selective amnesia? I don't remember a lot."

Link nodded slowly. "Are you okay?"

"I- I think so." Revali took a breath. "I mean, I'm not in immediate danger of hurting myself or others... I don't think."

Relieved, he nodded again.

Revali couldn't help but continue. "I lied to you. I lied to you so much to cover and hide all of this- last weekend, nearly everything. Even the window incident and that my family was out of town- you were right. I never tell the truth- not if I can help it." He swallowed.

Link exhaled slowly. "It's not your fault."

Revali shook his head. "No, it is- I-"

Placing a finger against his lips, Link silenced him. "When I ran away from home, I lied to everyone. I stole from the house, and from other places. Just because I didn't have to in order to survive doesn't mean I didn't have to so I could live."

Revali nodded, but knew he couldn't say a word.

"You did what you had to." Link finished, then tucked his legs up onto the couch so that he was sitting on them.

Swallowing, Revali forced his mouth to speak. "The window. It is why my mom doesn't like to leave me home alone often, but it had nothing to do with Jesse."

Link's face scrunched, as if he could become the personification of a question mark.

"I... I jumped out of a third story window." Revali said, steadying his shaking hands on his thighs. "In my uncles house. I was fourteen at the time; that's when I really started to get angry about the whole thing."

Link reached forward, and held his hand.

"But I don't hate him." He added quickly. "I just... I mean, he was good to me sometimes. He never hurt me... Blatantly. I didn't lie about him getting me the bow. He did a lot of things for me, and-"

Link shushed him. "And my mom tucked me in at night and told me she loved me. Yeah, she fed me and kept clothes on my back and came to my soccer games, but that doesn't change the fact that she hit me when she was angry."

Link squeezed his eyes shut, his body tense. Slowly, he relaxed.

"Just because someone did good things, doesn't change the bad." He signed, then put his hands down.

Revali took a moment. "I still don't know how I feel."

Link nodded. "You don't have to."

Slowly, Revali nodded back. "So... What does that make us?"

Link frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, we were dating for about two days... Now you found out about this. What does that make us?" Revali asked again, a lump in his throat.

Link smiled. "Boyfriends, I hope?"

"You don't think that I've just coerced you into this?" Revali asked, wishing he hadn't the moment he did.

"Why would I think that?" Link signed. "Revali Medoh Gale, if anyone can hate you, I think it's me. I couldn't be coerced into loving you if you tried your very best."

Revali nodded, mouth dry.

"Loving?"

Link folded his hands the way someone might cover their mouth.

Revali smiled. "Boyfriends?"

Link nodded, his face bright red. "We should probably get going... May I walk you to your house?"

"You? A gentleman?" Revali laughed. "Who knew?"

Link elbowed him, then together they made their way up the stairs.

***

Next Tuesday rolled around sooner than seemed possible.

"Well, Teba-" Revali slid into his chair. "You will not believe what's been going on for the past four years!"

Teba blinked twice, clicked his pen, and Revali started talking. At first it was about his uncle, then poet's corner and Link, then everything about his friends he had kept hidden. The fact that he hadn't been taking his meds at all came out too, somewhere along the line. For the first time in years, it seemed like they had taken up all of their allotted time.

"Next week?" Teba asked, and Revali nodded. 

He didn't bother wiping his eyes, even though he was crying; he wasn't wearing makeup, anyway. Only right before his mom saw him would he do that. 

He wasn't ready to tell her yet, not while they were still grieving. That could come later.

(Revali): Want to hang out later?

Tapping his fingers on his thigh, he waited for the response.

(Zant): no one says 'want to' anymore

(Revali): Wanna hang out later, then?

(Zant): did you mean t text the group chat?

(Revali): Nope. Meet me at the sandwich shop?

(Zant): Can do

He turned off his phone. Cia, Zant, and Gan hadn't talked to him at all over the past week- and Ghira only once. He had apologized, though it seemed like someone had put him up to it. It was fine- he forgave him. That part was easy.  
There were other things that weren't, after all; but they would make it through those. He would make it through.

And he was allowed to be as angry as he wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much y'all, this has been a trip- remember I take requests for oneshots, too <3
> 
> Comments are love!


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